thechongs.org - the 5ive of us

Nurturing Shannon's Talents

2012-02-13T01:57:00.001+08:00

Shannon had the chance to try for her first "scholarship", but we turned it down. For now at least.

Her ballet teacher asked if Shannon wanted to try for a scholarship at her dance school, which would involve attending 3 lessons a week, rigorously, diligently. In return, she would get free lessons - but she would have to perform at dance recitals and represent the school in competitions and so on. It sounded like a good deal initially, but would more or less take our Sunday afternoons away.

At this point, I think it is more essential for us to spend our precious weekends together as a family doing fun things like cycling, swimming, visiting places, finishing homework :)

The question we often have is, how far do we think Shannon will go? Does she have the makings of a professional dancer? Does it make sense for us to push her all the way? Will she be happy being a dancer or instructor or will she turn around and blame us if she doesn't become a dancer?

After 3 years, her interest and excitement to dance are still there and she looks up to and admires the older Jie Jies there - which if nothing else, serves as good examples and role models for her and the other young girls (I hope).

I actually haven't seen her dancing in over a year - so I'm looking forward to the next open house.

Shannon, Just Dance.

If you teeth are too strong

2012-02-02T10:38:00.001+08:00

Shannon, at seven years old, has already had 3 teeth extracted. Each one of them involving lots of crying, screaming and blood.

The latest one was earlier this week, done at the dentist in her school.

We were in the room with her and once again, it was heart-wrenching and unbearable to watch and hear. The poor girl was pleading with the dentist to stop, begging her to put the large injection needle away. But no, it had to be done, for her own sake. How does a small girl even begin to comprehend something like that.

Celest thinks that Shannon's teeth are just too strong. Look at the length of the root, which takes up more than half the the entire tooth - is that normal for milk teeth? Or is Shannon secretly a vampire?

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to the next extraction. Neither is Shannon.

Amber: The toilet training experience

2012-01-23T08:03:00.001+08:00

Just when we thought we had fully toilet trained Amber for the night, she goes and wets the beds (yes, not just hers but also Nigel and Shannon's) two nights ago. However, I think that was a one off as it was a late sleeping night and she had lots of green tea.

But how did we get here? Wasn't she the one whom we could almost guarantee would soak her mattress each night no matter what we did? Yes she was. For some reason, at some point, I had this impression that she would never be trained. But she eventually did learn how to control yourself, and this is how we did it.

Firstly, we had to make sure she peed just before going to bed. And this would mean forcing her to go even if she insisted that her bladder was dry. "No Amber, go and pee". "Ohhh-kay, but I told you I don't have any pee". And she sit there, and we'd hear a lot of gushing sound. I wonder where that came from.

Then we would bring her to pee again before we went to bed. This might be around 1am. I'd wake her up, and make her walk zombie style to the toilet - Celest would carry her, but she wet me once as I was carrying her and it's been zombie style ever since.

Finally we would have to specifically set alarm clocks to wake us at around 4am so we could bring the little zombie to the toilet. Each time we do that, I'm reminded of a friend who joked once about making prank calls in the dead of the night to people and asking them to go and pee when they pick up - maybe his parents trained him this way and subliminally that thought strayed into his prank call messages.

In the morning, if she did wet her bed, she would come into our room and declare the unfortunate incident. Sometimes her elder siblings would do that too, especially if their mattresses (they all sleep side by side) or bolsters or soft toys were unintentionally soaked. Once, a care-bear became the pee-bear had to be left swimming in the sink.

We've not gotten a morning declaration in a while now, and we have also done away with the 4am alarms. So things are generally going the right way - just have to keep her away from the green-tea bottles.

Amber's Anxiety

2012-01-15T00:40:00.001+08:00

I might have written this similar post exactly a year ago.

Amber is now in Kindergarten 1, which you might refer to as Senior Nursery. But she's still a baby in many ways and for most of this week, she was very apprehensive about going into school - she started crying, whining, sobbing, clinging when she arrived at school (or Chinese class), exactly like last year, and the year before. Anxiety attacks. Fear of seperation.

Perhaps being born at the end of the year has an effect on her. When Shannon was roughly her age (around 48 months), she was just going to Nursery 2, because Shannon was born in January. However, Amber, being born in October, ends up experiencing everything much earlier in life - which is good in a way, but also makes her rather immature at the time.

But as history has proven, this coming week will be much better - until the long Chinese New Year weekend throws a spanner in the schedule and will set us back by several days. Oh well, growing up is hard to do.

Happy 7th Shanny

2012-01-04T21:31:00.001+08:00

Shannon turned 7 on this day. No longer the little bawling girl I remember, crawling around and bumping her head on the table legs. She's ready for school, ready to make new friends and all set to take on the world.

Happy 7th Birthday Princess Shanny!

Where did the holidays go?

2012-01-04T10:06:00.001+08:00

One moment we were busy packing for our trip to Phuket and Phi Phi Island - I recall being stranded at a deserted bus-stop in Phuket Town wondering if there was a bus we were supposed to be waiting for and longing for a SBS IRIS-type system. Next we were back in Singapore sending the kids to some extra classes. There was a bit of cycling at ECP and catching a movie or two.

Then we were zipping up the Malaysian highway to conquer the foggy and wet hill of Genting.

But now the kids are in school and I'm sitting in the office?

What happened?

Lose control and Gain your sanity

2011-12-22T00:04:00.001+08:00

From my experience, when you are taking three (or more) children out, excessive control is not necessarily a good thing (for your own health). Tight control typically means more shouting, more stress and lots of anxiety.

So my suggestion is less control. Safety and kidnapping aside, kids just generally want to have fun and get dirty. And if you're alright with some noise, chocolate stains and grubby faces, then go with it and let them go wild. Sit back, watch the action and let the other adults tear their hair follicles out.

That magic time of day: Phi Phi Island

2011-12-11T00:07:00.001+08:00

Our hotel at Phi Phi Island was on the east side of the island, on the beach, facing the rising sun. And the sun there rises every morning (woah!) at around 6.15am. So, instead of having to drag 3 lazy bums down to ECP, out of the car in the pitched black morning in Singapore, it was just open-the-door, take 10 steps to the sandy shore for 6 days in a row. It was cloudy on one of those days, but perfect for the other 5.

And what a pleasure it was to see the sun pop out slowly out of the horizon (actually there was a little piece of island protruding about a quarter inch), almost like an eclipse of sorts. The kids who woke up with us on several occasions payed a little bit of attention and then started chasing crabs or poking sticks into the sand.

I miss those early sunrises already. They take your cares, worries, and breath away.

The Xbox Deal

2011-11-13T23:18:00.001+08:00

So are we being tough on Nigel?

We gave him a difficult target of having to get a distinction for his piano exam and also first place in class. Only then could he be entitled to an Xbox Kinect. He managed to get fulfill the first target but not the second, getting 3rd place in class, which is actually quite good. But should we give-in and get him the Xbox anyway?

I'm not sure how hard he actually worked, but I would say he did put in quite a bit of effort. Although looking at his preparation, I believe he had time to do more. We also didn't want to tire him out and add crazy stress on his eight year old brain - can you imagine what would happen when the PSLE comes along?

Surprisingly (or maybe not), he's actually very proud of his achievements. The boy would was first was the same one last year, but he managed to beat his friend Arthur, which I think was his personal goal. So in his own eyes, he did it. We set his goal for the top, which gave him some buffer to fall. If we set it as 3rd, he would have probably come in as 5th. Then again, I'm not sure if such psychology applies to him.

Anyway, we are giving him a chance to prove himself during these few holiday weeks. There are more opportunities for him to get those extra Xbox points, but honestly, I'm not sure if he really wants it - he doesn't seem so hot on it. Maybe a simple hovercraft would do?

Bottom-line - for any human, child or adult: Aim high. Even if you don't make it, you would still outdo yourself.

Spending time with my boy

2011-11-07T23:35:00.001+08:00

Over the weekend, I had a chance to attend a Father/Son bonding camp with Nigel at his school.

We played games with the other 17 Father/Son pairs, had insightful moments and a little individual 1-on-1 BBQ where you get to cook with your son and burn his satay. See picture. (It's been 2 days, no diarrhea, meaning everything went alright).

It really gave me a chance to get to know him a little more, find out what he is capable of and learn from some of the experts on how you can give yourself and you children the confidence that is needed to grow as a family - with the right amount of tolerance, discipline, and of course, lots of love.

I love you Nigel, Shannon and Amber. I hope you will give me a chance to grow as a dad and lead you on your individual life journeys!

Time of their lives

2011-10-31T23:41:00.001+08:00

You know the song from Green Day? It would have been so appropriate if they played that at the end of the kindergarten graduation concert, and that would surely bring tears to every parent's eyes, including mine.

Our little kids are growing up right in front of us, on that stage, as they dance, and sing, and perform. Months of practise and training, culminating in 2 hours of Broadway + High School Musical. Pure magic. Not flawless, but every imperfection perfect in its own right, highlighting each child’s uniqueness, confidence and willingness to be out there in the spotlight for the world to see, and unafraid to fail.

I wonder if all the effort was for the audience, or really for themselves. The teachers, of course, have the parents in mind as they choreograph each move, time each beat to ensure every little foot and hand rocks to the same rhythm. The kids, on the other hand, are just having a blast - not thinking about tomorrow, or the past. In their eternal youth, their energy belongs in the here and now, and so it rightly should. On that stage (and even in their numerous rehearsals), their radiance, their brilliant smiles, their cheekiness shines through. I felt a huge amount of ability, focus and maturity growing within their little hearts and minds. These really can’t be kindergarten kids, could they?

But it is also Farewell. To the life she has known almost half her life, in a small protected school, her friends (some of them whom might come along with her), teachers of the last three years, the friendly playground, the fun classrooms. It will take her a few years, maybe decades, but she will long for the days. She will think back, reminisce and wonder, in her distant memory, where those years went. A blurry hue will form around faint images of a life one lived, childish conversations on the steps while waiting for class to begin or her mummy to come get her. Everything will be in sepia, and the sound of children’s laughter and chattering will form the soundtrack.

I’m already missing those days on her behalf and I remember that little girl that was scared of school and would begin crying even before we said goodbye, but would somehow transform into a cheerful bright-eyed princess who didn’t want to leave at the end.

I will continue to cherish the thought that just like her brother and sister, they will continue to brighten our days, no matter how old, stubborn, naughty they get and that deep in their beings I can sometimes still see hints of the little babies that they once were, and I hope that never goes away.

Bedtime Thank Yous

2011-10-22T01:29:00.001+08:00

Celest started making the children say a Thank You each during their bedtime prayers. Just a simple line to thank God for something they feel is important.

Nigel: Thank you for dying on the cross for us.

Shannon: Thank you for this wonderful day.

Amber: Thank you for dying on the cross for us, and for this wonderful day, and for making the flowers grow and grow and grow and grow so big big big big and for not wasting the money on clothes ...

Nigel and Amber: (chuckling)

Fun Saturday

2011-10-15T22:12:00.001+08:00

We spent the whole day at Wild Wild Wet today, riding the slides, floating in the water, burning our skins.Miraculously, it didn't rain where we were. Instead, the sun scorched us red.The kids had the most fun in a long time and are now dozing off into dreams of Ooh-lar-lahs and Tsunami Pools.

My eye

2011-10-05T21:41:00.001+08:00

One day you will realise that you actually have very little control over how your children will turn out, what they will do, and if their lives will be as perfect as you envisioned. In the course of daily life, other factors often play a much bigger role in shaping them, and you end up picking up the pieces.

Today, one of our big fears unfolded before our eyes; Nigel would have to begin wearing glasses.

I'm not going to say it's a terrible horrible thing as I know many other children, and even yours (if you are reading this) might be wearing them too. As part and parcel of the modern world where children are exposed to all kinds of material, electronic and paper, which encourage them to strain their pupils, I think it is rather common these days to see youngsters wearing glasses. In fact, we have close friends with spectacled kids. Lasik would definitely be an option when they get older, and it would be significantly more advanced and cheaper - but that's for the future.

But the emotional negativity, as we come to terms that Nigel would probably have to wear glasses every day from now on, is something that we've yet to accept. Seeing our little boy having to put on a pair just to see clearly was not what we were prepared for, and it will take a while for us to adjust to this reality. However, as the optician said, it has to be done or both his eyes will deteriorate (it's only his right eye now with the degrees). It's that, or risk his eye becoming lazy. Inside, my heart is breaking.

Nigel is still our little perfect boy - the cute baby, handsome toddler and now mischievous 8 year old who will not follow instructions. We have to appreciate what God throws at us, both the good and the not so good, and be always grateful.

So from now on, it's carrot/apple juices, brighter lights and better reading habits. I hope his eyesight gets better, but it is really up to him.

Support your children

2011-09-22T18:01:00.001+08:00

As your child grows, and most children do, you will have to decide what type of extra activities they should do.

Of course, three years olds have little to no opinion on what really interests them, what their future careers or hobbies will be and if three hundred bucks for a term of art is a reasonable price to pay. But if it is fun, they will go, and it really comes down to their ability to make friends and collect sweets.

So it’s art, swimming, abacus, Chinese, piano, ballet, speech and drama, science, violin, kung-fu dancing, taekwondo, flower arrangement, software development and more.

The credit crunch begins when your child turns 8 and two more siblings come along all wanting to be like their elder brother and write enterprise applications while playing the piano. That’s when you have to start looking at killing dreams, ending futures and halting the development of a future Picasso – did he attend art classes when he was five?

The trouble then is, how do you decide what is important, what your child is truly passionate about, and if he or she just wants to make you contribute to the economy.

I believe we have to nurture our kids and support them in whatever endeavours they want take on: be it music, performing or academic … as long as it doesn’t involve the harming of other humans or animals. But cost is definitely a factor, especially if it involves initial investments of musical instruments or advanced aeronautical equipment, at which point you would also be asking yourself if your living room is big enough.

My take is, if you don’t encourage and help them, their passion for exploring life and its many possibilities might grow dim, wither and die. They might even end up working for large MNCs and staring into a screen.

A sleepover with the kids

2011-09-11T22:44:00.001+08:00

Celest had a weird urge last night to chuck herself together with the kids on their beds and have a sleepover in their room - I had one look at the situation in there and said, it is going to be very squashed and somebody gonna get hurt. But after a little bit of discussion, we decided to go: Why not?

So she squeezed herself between Nigel and Amber and I slotted myself next to Nigel against the wall. It was rather uncomfortable having Nigel's knee in my back and having to hug bolster and concrete together. So around 2am, I gave up and trudged back to our room with my bolster, leaving Nigel behind. Celest was sound asleep - she had moved over next to Shannon and the desk, snoring louder than the children.

Shannon woke up in the morning and told me she was surprised that mummy was sleeping next to her - but she had a big smile on her face. I think maybe we'll do it more often, but we need to get bigger mattresses and maybe a bigger room too.

Bedtime

2011-09-06T01:59:00.001+08:00

The kids are in bed and sleeping by 10pm each night, sometimes earlier. And we sleep much later than that.

Sometimes, I will go into their room and have a peek at what kind of funny position they have adopted. Someone normally has a fist in a face, or a foot in near a butt. Quite often they are all lying upside down and in horizontal positions spanning across multiple mattresses.

Their faces look so calm and peaceful – no longer the manic crazy children running around, driving us mad an hour before. In their minds, dazzling arrays of magical journeys are playing out, each one having his or her own vision of far off and unknown wonderful worlds. I put my head next to each one, trying to listen into the soundtrack that is playing, or feel the buzz of their busy CPUs working away at millions of megahertz rendering the sights and sounds, smells and textures. But I hear nothing but the soft breathing of a little child, and the faint sounds of a heart that is thumping a little quicker than mine.

I wish I could sit by their side the whole night to just watch them. I really wish I could.

The wild August is over

2011-09-01T01:31:00.001+08:00

August was such a busy month - birthdays, events, outings, National Day. On top of that, the stock market was crazy, HP started going nuts, and a host of other things probably made this a very memorable and fun month.

September is going to be exciting too with the children having a week break from school, Nigel going for his first confession soon and his grade 2 piano exam (which I think he is not yet ready for) at the end of the month.

Makes me tired just thinking about what's ahead.

Rules for the next decade

2011-08-22T21:54:00.001+08:00

I have reached a milestone in Age recently. Maturity? Arguable, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Like can of sardines doesn’t suddenly go bad once its expiry date arrives, or a car start spewing black smoke once it reaches 50 thousand miles, a person doesn’t suddenly grey overnight. As they say, age is just a number and how you feel and behave and absorb the life forces around you is what truly defines you. I've never really seen the life forces but I have a friend who claims he can see them because his eyes are tuned to quantum waveforms and the magtenic forces of the north pole, like pigeons.

I feel like I’ve been through some, and at the same time not really gathered the true experience I’ve wanted. I’m never gone bungee jumping, parachuted out of a plane or been waxed. Yet, with an understanding of the value of achievements, I can boss people around when needed and occasionally say “no” to the odd beating and nobody can force me to eat bitter gourd or chicken liver.

My resolution for the next decade? Keep on living, don’t stop laughing, stay the course and never ever stop being corny. My day consists of me thinking up corny lines, interrupted by spasms of work. In the face of ever-mounting pressures and uncertainty, life’s best gift to you is hair and hilarity.

Thick skinned and ok

2011-08-17T01:07:00.001+08:00

I was amazed the other evening how thick-skinned and daring the children are, and then I thought it was actually a good thing.

After a bout of scolding, loud talking and fierce instructions, Nigel gingerly came out and asked "Daddy, can I have the aircon tonight?". It's like all the negativity from just 10 minutes earlier was just forgotten and business was back to usual.

In this highly competitive world I think he is displaying some very good points:

The ability to bounce back emotionally, both quickly and completely. The person who recovers the fastest normally wins. The one who mopes around in sorrow thinking about how bad things are would miss out on opportunities that are bound to start coming their way.
The willingness to stick your neck out and ask for something, even if you're quite sure the answer will be no. Many times we assume that we will get turned down, and hence we do not ask. But sometimes things turn for the better and all you have to do is ask the right questions. Ask and you shall receive.

The kids of today seem to be adapting themselves to the world. Many times, they may come across as rude, naughty or plain disobedient. But I think with some coaching and positive reinforcement, we can leverage that energy and attitude to build up strong citizens of the future.

As for that night, I said no aircon tonight Nigel, it is a cool night. He said, "OK". But walked away contented, without complaints. I think he must have been thinking, "Well, I tried".

Is it OK to have favourites?

2011-08-10T23:06:00.001+08:00

I can't tell you if it is right or wrong, and it's probably the latter, but I will tell you how I feel sometimes.

There are some days when one child is just doing everything right. Saying the right things, being polite, helping out and just being all grown-up and mature. And the other two might be fighting, irritating each other and us. You get the picture.

On such a day, it is obviously easy to pick out a favourite. And as human nature goes, I do. But it's probably different every day so I would say that if you average it all out, really every one of them is a favourite.

Also, I try to spend some quality time with each one of them on separate occasions. It might not be a full day outing and might just end up being a short 15 minute walk around a store looking at stuff. For that little period of time, that child becomes my favourite and I try to devote my energy and attention to him or her.

So there.

A reminder

2011-08-03T08:39:00.001+08:00

I have this picture frame sitting on my desk at home. It's not the cute and candid photograph sitting within it that strikes (not physically) me everyday, but the words that say "To be in our children's memories tomorrow, we have to be in their lives today."

This is a reminder that it is up to us as parents today to build up a bond, a pool of memories from which they can tap in their older years - fun, meaningful and cherished times with mum and dad and the family. Often we hear about how someone missed out on their childhood years, on how they didn't experience the love of their parents - these things come out while sitting on a couch in some doctor's office.

Well, we have a chance to correct that right now. So spend quality time with them today - talk, listen, laugh and build up the memories for tomorrow.

Our 10th year ...

2011-07-27T16:19:00.001+08:00

So we celebrated our 10th anniversary last week. Can't imagine, 10 years have gone by, just like that. You might have seen that I put up some of our wedding pictuures into Facebook - there wasn't Facebook back then, else I would have done that 10 years ago too. And it would have saved us from sending out wedding cards too.

10 years, 3 children later, we are still the same people. Just more wrinkles on our faces, some white hair, but no back pains and can still squat.

What did we do? No exotic trips to Italy, no moonlight walks on Waikiki beach, no diving in Koh Tao (which is where we had our honeymoon by the way). Just a very bloated lunch at Kuishin Bo which lasted us for the rest of the day and a nice apt movie, Bridesmaids, which was strangely hilarious.

I wish we could have done more, 10 years is significant right? Anyway, what matters is that we're still a good family that can squat together if we want to. And we can always go on a nice holiday during the school holidays.

Thanks for all your greetings and we wish you well in your own relationships!

Don't let the fun slide

2011-07-18T00:46:00.001+08:00

Kids are like sponges, they just soak up the fun.

See the looks on their faces when zoom down - no worries, no cares, everything just slides away.

Once in a while (or why not more often?), we should just learn to let go of everything (unless you're holding hot soup, the bus handle, a baby?) and let life flow through your veins. Be like our kids and just forget about the troubles that will happen tomorrow, next week. You can't avoid those, but don't avoid the fun you can be having today!

Now back to my report.

Tired kids, tired adults

2011-07-15T23:07:00.001+08:00

I know I'm going to get blamed for this, but I'm going to put it out there anyway.

Kids these days have too much going on - and yes, we parents are to blame. So there, I'm insured.

But what do we do? How do we keep our hyperactive child's mind occupied with something besides computer games and iPad. How do we develop their skills when we ourselves don't have any? How do we explain to them why their friends are going for extra classes when they aren't?

And they've now reached the age where they are asking "Mummy/Daddy, can you sign me up for ...". It's true, I'm not lying. I don't remember asking my parents to sign me up for courses when I was their age. But I guess it's a good thing that they are asking for this, although their ulterior motives could be wrong (e.g. networking in order to trade cards? the teacher has an iPad?)

Either way, does anyone know of a good Creative Writing course for Primary Twos?

Making Marriages

2011-07-07T21:54:00.001+08:00

Friends your age-group.

Once upon a time, everyone was graduating. Then they were getting jobs. Soon some got married. Then came the houses, cars, cash, and of course the children.

Unfortunately, now it's time for the divorces. Once I could honestly say I didn't know anyone in our "batch" who was divorced, but that's no longer true.

So what makes a marriage work? Ours?

Well, it's hard to say - and it will not apply to everyone. But if I could sum it up, I'd say it is an ability to overlook flaws (everyone has them), having a common belief (in something other than yourself) and a wanting to succeed (no matter what). As with anything else, like your job for example, once you start having that negative feeling and a growing need to get out, it will start eating at your heart and things might just suddenly start falling apart around you.

Stay strong and hold on tight.

For those that have had no choice and decided to make the move, things understandingly look different on your end. But life is your journey and is all about second chances. Learn from your mistakes and be a (wo)man - do the right thing.

Making Amber laugh

2011-07-04T23:38:00.001+08:00

Earlier as I was carry a very sleepy Amber up from the car, I found an easy way to make her laugh. (If you ask me why, it was because I had to keep her awake for her teeth to be brushed and her clothes to be changed before bed)

Tickling, actually makes her angry - when she's tired. So what I did was to add in sound effects, farting ones to be more accurate.

Each time I poked her, I made "Puuuttt". "Puuuut". After a while, it because poke, "puuuutttt", *giggle*. And it was the cutest *giggle* ever!!

Driving the economy (but us broke)

2011-06-25T15:42:00.001+08:00

As a followup to a previous posting, it is true that the children of the world are slowly (but surely) digging us out recession. With their powers alone, they can bring back consumer spending, fight off any financial slump and ensure the adults of the world part with their paychecks.

Why do you need any stimulus package when you have three rascals at home with dollar signs in their eyes? Every day is a chance to visit a different restaurant. Each trip to the mall begins with a "what will you buy for me Daddy/Mummy?"

I'm going to attach a picture of them in my next email to my boss asking for a raise :)

How our children can become professional footballers

2011-06-18T10:00:00.001+08:00

If you watch enough football, you'll see how easily a professional athlete can fall over, scream in pain, and complain to the referee that an opponent pushed/kicked/tapped/tickled/said funny rhymes at him. And then, promptly runs off (with a big smile) after the referee awards the other player a yellow card.

Our children are exactly like that.

Everyday there are the shouts to the referee: "Mummy, Amber hit me, smack her!!" "Daddy, Gege pushed me, do you want me to get the cane for you?"

And there's the hollering in pain, the reaction to being shoved with a tiny push of a finger, for enhanced dramatic effect. It's becoming clear to me now - it's actually a big plan to get the other person punished. There's really no end in the complaints you can have about your siblings and the many reasons why they should be hit with a cane.

After that, you pick yourself up, try to wipe that grin off your face, and get back into the game. Just like football.

A self-policing system

2011-06-10T01:21:00.001+08:00

I think it's a great system to have - and if left to me, I would leverage it, and even try to enhance it to its full potential. Then I would document it, write a book about it and sell it to other families who have multiple children.

The idea is simple, have the children monitor each other and basically tell on each other. We are essentially encouraging the whistle-blowing instinct that is, apparently, built into the genome of every person younger than 10 - after that, I think they learn to collaborate and cheat the system for collective and personal gains - but at this stage, none of them are above that age, so we still have a few years to tweak things.

When we want to enforce a rule when we are not around, we just throw it out there (e.g. "no eating sweets, if anybody eats sweets, Ge Ge will tell me and the offending party will be punished) and the general magic happens. Imagine the end result - "Shannon did this. No Amber starting first. I just copied Ge Ge. No, Gong Gong gave it to us, we didn't even ask for it." Ahh, after a few minutes of letting them talk it out and just open listening, we can easily get a detailed description of the who, when, why, what. And we don't have to interview them separately and/or place them in rooms with one-way mirrors. In fact, I think it works better when they are interviewed as a bunch.

To be honest, it serves better as feedback (i.e. we will find out the truth of what happened) as opposed to an enforcement tool, but the idea is for it to become a consequential reminder, which so far has proven futile - but we have longer term hopes.

One Child Policy, the benefits

2011-06-03T23:26:00.001+08:00

When you have just one child, you won't hear the following:

Mummy, Shannon was playing with your phone, how come I don't get to play.
Daddy, you have to smack Ge Ge because the didn't finish his food.
Ha ha, now I get to sit in the front seat for fourteen times.
Scream, scream, punch, punch, ouch, crying. Mummy, Ge Ge hi me.
Daddy, Jie Jie's leg is on my bed - I cannot sleep.

And the list goes on.

I'm trying to learn to let them settle their own disputes. For now, it could be by shouting, exchanging stickers, and tearing up each others drawings. When they get older, it might be blackmail, Facebook wall posts and lawsuits.

It's the last day of school (for this term)

2011-05-27T09:53:00.001+08:00

It's not just any Friday, it's the last school day of the term before a month of holiday for the kids! Yay! (for happiness) and Ohhh! (for tiredness).

This weekend itself is a killer. There is an overnight school stay, with a fathers' day celebration campfire (I have this strange vision of all the fathers being tied together thrown into a raging fire), a birthday party and funfair to attend and a company family day at the Chinese Garden. In addition, the art, swimming and Sunday school classes carry on like usual. I'm not sure if we have time to visit the beach or hang out by the pool.

And people ask me why I look so tired on Mondays. Well, it's going to be everyday for the next month!

Oh, there's also a Champions League match between ManUtd and Barcelona at 2am on Sunday morning.

When the grouch sets in

2011-05-10T16:27:00.002+08:00

Innocent happy kids.

Grouchy restless teens.

Somewhere in between, there is a gradual transition that I think many parents tend to miss. All of a sudden, your happy-go-lucky toddler/child/youngster has turned into a sulky, unhappy mess who mopes about and whispers about how boring outings are, how they want to go back home to their PCs/TVs/iPads. The difference between our time and the present is that everyone one of them has their own personal entertainment device with them wherever they go - meaning instead of groaning and pulling long faces, they just bury themselves into their iPhones, which is actually worse. What happened to regular conversation.

I'm keeping an eye on Nigel as I think that change is happening soon. Shannon and Amber are still ever happy, ever willing to smile - but I think Nigel is slowly losing his shine.

Politics and the Kids

2011-05-10T16:27:00.001+08:00

We just went through an exciting election campaign, which some have equated to World Cup finals or a Manchester United vs Chelsea match (which just happened on the following day, in which ManU did a PAP over the Blues). The kids are too young to vote, but have been quite intrigued by the ongoing debates on the radio, the numerous signs and posters that appeared (and have not yet disappeared) from the lamp-posts and all the talk about voting.

They've asked us what voting means, and I explained to them that it is like writing the name of your favorite friend on paper and putting it into a box. And the friend with the most pieces of paper will win. That sparked off some discussion about which friend we were going to vote for, if I was going to vote for Mummy and how many friends I had. When I explained that you could only vote for political parties, the discussion went silent - although I was expecting some talk about birthdays, guess they aren't that corny. They were excited on voting day, not because the country was going through a historic moment, but because we would have to leave them at their grandparents house which meant Beyblades and TV!

Do I think the politics will affect our kids future? I don't think so. We've always been a conservative and practical society and any "dramatic" changes that might happen would be minimal - I guess in a way, the government tends to do the right, and sometimes unpopular, thing. In addition, we're a tiny nation floating like a boat in a sea of globalized ocean and wind currents - our strategy has always been to stay afloat and keep our sails ready to catch the wind taking us ahead, so honestly, there is not much we can do besides trying to build a bigger sail and keep the people rowing. I think that's the situation we are in.

I tell the kids to keep working hard in anything they do - studying, practicing, singing, playing, behaving themselves. With the right attitude and mindset, I feel that they will be able to succeed in almost any situation that we find ourselves in.

Mother's Day Celebration

2011-05-04T21:44:00.001+08:00

In the midst of all the bustle about the Election, Osama Bin Laden and the rest of the worries of the adult world, our children carry on with what really excites them in their schools, with friends and siblings. It's cute how innocent and sincere they are, and how little wonderful things can light up their faces to give them those huge beaming smiles.

Shannon has been practising very hard and has been so looking forward to the Mothers' Day celebration that she and her classmates will be putting up for all mothers tomorrow. From more than a month ago, she has been going on and on about it, telling me, not telling Celest, saying it's a secret, but wanting to blurt it out at the same time - I can see it in her eyes that she's just bursting at the seams and is really super-looking forward to it. I heard her say earlier that her teacher and friends prayed really hard for good weather tomorrow and that all the mummies would come join in the fun and be just as thrilled.

Happy Mummies Day in advance all!

Piano lessons - The parent/child package

2011-04-30T23:36:00.001+08:00

Thinking of sending your child for piano lessons? First, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have a piano at home - of the correct height? Electronic pianos won't do, and don't even think of one of those electronic keyboards, unless you're one of the chipmunks that hang out with Alvin.

2. Do you have the discipline to force him/her to practice everyday even though there are 100 other things to do? (e.g. homework, ding xie, cycling, peeing, sleeping, eating, swimming, TV, Wii, playing iPhone, playing iPad, playing WP7 ...)

3. Can you play the piano yourself?

Question 3 is the tricky one. Somewhere upstream in your family history, someone must have said "dammit, I haven't a clue on how to play but I sure as heck am gonna get Jim to go for piano lessons". And that's where the trouble started.

I often wonder - if I didn't know how to play the piano and read notes, Nigel would surely be able to get away with what you might call "crap practicing" meaning: wrong fingering, missing sharps, missing flats, missing notes, wrong timing, wrong octave, wrong key signature, wrong time signature, wrong piano piece, sitting on the seat facing the wrong direction. If I were a musical idiot, he could actually play any old thing he wanted and I would say "well done!!". He would then turn away from me, snigger and roll his eyes.

There would just be no way to verify anything. It is like sending your child to study an exotic Amazonian tribal language and getting him to spend 30 mins revising it in the living room while you observe and try to determine if he's improving. "Well done buddy! Your tribal language speaking skills are fantastic! Now go practice your piano."

Bottom-line - be prepared to learn together with him/her so you can help your child to improve. You need to show an interest, be available to sit in the seat next to the piano, and pressure/reassure where needed. And trust me, the 100kg bulk of wooden melodies can make one cry.

Sorrow by words - What a concept

2011-04-28T18:27:00.001+08:00

I was just thinking about how the mind of a child progresses and matures intellectually.

When they are really young, the only way to get them to cry is maybe by accidentally hurting them physically, or denying them food, milk and so on. This is the human brain reacting on a purely physical level.

As they grow and their mental powers increase, simple ideas and words have the ability to get them upset. The word "no" for example, is an amazing concept. It is powerful enough to show authority, cause unhappiness and teach a youngster the discipline of denial, delayed gratification and prepare them for life in the real world.

The other day I was taking a shower and Amber was knocking on the door. I heard her, through the sound of the falling water, asking me to give her Blu-Tack (her favourite item now). I shouted "No!". When I got out, she was sitting rather grumpily on the floor outside the bathroom, mumbling about how she would buy her own Blu-Tack when she starting working.

Happy Easter Everyone

2011-04-24T09:37:00.001+08:00

During this Lentern season, I wouldn't say we did a good job in getting the kids really involved in the preparation, but I did try to interject some of the stories and the meaning behind some of the celebrations like Palm Sunday and Ash Wednesday. It's also quite good that Nigel seems to be learning quite a bit from Sunday school (or is it religious classes in school?). Nigel and Shannon experienced ninety minutes of kneeling and standing on Good Friday - which must have made them rather tired.

I showed Nigel a short video the other day on the crucifixion, and I did get a small reaction from him - although I think he might have been slightly confused.

This afternoon, there is a children's Easter Mass which might be fun for the kids and hopefully bring Jesus' resurrection to life in a more relevant way for them.

Happy Easter everyone!!

Dear Nigel

2011-04-17T00:43:00.001+08:00

I smacked Nigel just before bed just now and he cried. It was because he poked Shannon in her stomach, because she was making fun of him. She was making fun of because, because, because ... I'll spare you the details.

I immediately felt bad, and went back into the room. He was sobbing because of the pain, be he later said it no longer hurt. I think it might have been his pride, or the shock - he hasn't been smacked in a while.

I feel that our dear boy has been neglected in a way - less love these days, but more complaints, homework, demands and so on. We tend to put too much pressure on him, expecting him to act grown up and behave, finish his chores and school work on time - I feel like each time we talk to him, it's in a negative or commanding tone, lacking compassion and the caring that he once received as a tiny toddler.

I forget that inside his mind, he does long to be that cute boy that stole everyone's hearts and got away with many things because he was our precious darling. He might be subconsciously trying to get our attention again by being mischievous, unruly - are these the early makings of a troubled youth? He's no longer that cute 1 year old boy, but I bet part of him still wants to be.

From tomorrow, I aim to become more sensitive to his feelings and spend time understanding his thoughts. He tends to be a little quiet around me, and I'll have to ask him questions and engage him in conversation to get to his heart.

Our little girlies

2011-04-13T23:51:00.001+08:00

In-spite (and sometime I would say because) of their whiny, sulky ways, girls have a way of melting hearts. They know how to smile, charm and sweet talk their way into getting things their way - be it getting carried, claiming sweets or just disrupting your work by climbing on to your lap. To me, just being called "Daddy" by our little princesses makes me go soft - knowing that I am the man they look up to and am the one that they will model their adult relationships on makes me feel responsible for their safety and emotional well-being.

I am ready to open the door to any young man who comes a-knocking - armed with a gun and (ok, no guns in Singapore) a look of terror in my eye: "Dude, I've got my eye on you".

Until then, these little darlings are meant to be cradled in our arms and be as girly and whiny (let's not go overboard here) as they like. They are Daddy's (and Mummy's) Little Girls.

Wee Meng, thanks for Bringing Up Girls.

Amber cutting hair

2011-04-10T00:49:00.001+08:00

As I was bathing Amber, she was telling me that her hair was entering her eye.

I asked her: Do you want to go for a haircut?

Amber: No. I don't want to be a boy.

Their pain, Our pain

2011-04-05T00:43:00.001+08:00

As you know, Shannon had her two front lower teeth extracted over the weekend. For more than a month, her new teeth had been growing behind her baby teeth - and those stubborn babies just refused to get shaky and continued to remain firmly planted in her gums.

Shannon was actually the one who kept bugging Celest everyday to bring her to see the dentist. Must have been the horror stories about having to wear braces, which successfully got her to change her mind about getting her teeth pulled out. Poor girl, didn't know what she was asking for until it was too late. Everyday, for the past week, it was "Mummy, can you bring me to the dentist TODAY!". I think we'll never hear her saying that again.

I was standing outside in the waiting area, with some other patients. Her screaming and whimpering could be heard very clearly through the thin walls, or more like partition. I looked at the faces of some of those people who were also wincing in pain, wondering if they should make a dash for the exit. It seemed like the crazy surgeon was on shift that day, not the nice doctor the receptionist had promised. I even explained to some of them that it was my daughter getting an extraction and everyone said "poor girl, poor girl".

Celest was inside with her. I could peer through a small clear portion of the "1" (indicating the room number) on the otherwise frosted glass. I could see the dentist prying open her mouth and eventually pulling out her teeth - but I have to be honest with you ... I didn't look much. Between the loud crying and the physical pain i felt in my own lower gums, I just couldn't bear to watch; really, I tried but it was just something I could not do. I am truly amazed with Celest being in there with her and taking pictures of the big pliers pulling out her teeth. I wouldn't have been able to do that.

She came out with tears all over her face, a bloody cotton piece in her mouth. Her spirits were low and her entire mouth was numb after a trauma she had never previously experienced. I gave her a big hug and told her that she was very brave, fighting back my own tears - but it didn't help her at all. The pain of the operation was too much for this little girl to handle and she needed some time to overcome her emotions and sort everything out. And she did, rather quickly.

Although she couldn't eat, and talk without sounding like someone with a piece of cotton in her mouth, she was in better spirits within an hour. After lunch, she told me about a young boy who asked his dad what she had in her mouth. I said maybe he thought it was a marshmallow and we both laughed. Such marvelous emotional recovery, our young brave princess just bounces back in an instant.

And physical recovery too. It looks like her adult teeth are already moving in to take over the vacancy. I swear if you stare at her mouth long enough, you can actually see those two sharp guys slowly walking forward side-by-side. She has a habit of looking into the mirror at her teeth whenever she gets a chance.

Time, I've been passing time ...

2011-03-31T00:51:00.001+08:00

I try not to dread certain, maybe unpleasant, events. Because that would make me want to get those over quickly.

I also attempt not to look forward too much to an exciting weekend, as that would force me to overlook the days in between.

I want to be able to cherish every moment that exists, both the fun ones and the other types. A moment is a neutral element of time and it only lasts for a fleeting second or two and never returns. If you wish it away, you will never see it again and at the end of the day, you are left with a faded memory of a life you might have forgotten to live.

What's wrong with me today. :)

Where did my tooth go?

2011-03-26T23:32:00.001+08:00

A few days ago, Celest bumped into Nigel's hand and Nigel's hand bumped into Nigel's tooth and Nigel screamed out in pain and started crying like the baby Nigel was 8 years ago. It was a rather sad sight - he was in agony, his tooth was on the verge of falling out and he didn't know what to do. It was wobbling away for the past several weeks and he had grown, I think, rather fond of it although it got in the way of his eating, tooth brushing and outgoing lifestyle.

Celest took a piece of tissue, wrapped the tooth in it, and gently lifted it out of his gum. Easy.

Nigel's face? Relief. Happiness - mixed with the tears from moments earlier.

Where did my hair go?

2011-03-23T00:36:00.001+08:00

Celest took out the scissors yesterday and went crazy. Shannon got a trim. Ok, more like a hair decapitation - she had long locks, now she looks a bit like a boy.

And from what I hear, when Shannon remembered that she has her ballet examination next week (where the girls typically arrange their hair into neat little buns) she cried and cried and just couldn't stop. Celest said she felt really bad and tried desperately to glue the pieces back, which only made things worse. Her hair was short and really sticky - I'm only joking.

When I saw her the next morning (see picture), she was back to her usual smiling self, but did mumble to herself several times about not being able to tie, not being able to braid, unbunnable and so on. Just mumbling, which is ok.I gave her a hug and told her that she still looked like a beautiful princess, which brought a smile to her now very visible face.

Birthdays

2011-03-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

Nigel turned eight today - EIGHT! That means we've been parents for EIGHT years, amazing! I still feel the same as the day he was born - a bit more tired, a slight headache, but nothing serious. In actual fact, and I counted the candles, it was eight long years ago. And now he talks back, argues, bargains, negotiates, ignores - all the things he didn't do 8 years ago. Growing up is overrated - if I had a choice of re-filling in that application form, I wouldn't have ticked the box next to "Do you want child to grow up?".

So we had a little "unorganised" party, both in a planned and unplanned way. We took a bunch of his school friends and drove them all the way to a play area in Jurong to run around, go crazy, have lunch, eat some birthday cake, terrorize the younger children. Then, we took everyone back to the east again. It was a very noisy and nerve-wrecking 5 hours.

The car ride was almost as noisy as the play-area, and we had a little preview of some foul-language, verbal sparring, socks throwing that apparently boys do when they get-together. I was the driver trying not to get so distracted and swerve into the road divider while funny combinations of weird words (some involving parts of the human body) were strung together and said out loud. Celest, I could tell, couldn't decide if she should be laughing, crying, or just focusing on covering Amber's ears. 30 mins there and back - an hour of what it is like in a classroom of an all-boys school - just missing the spinning erasers.

Birthday parties, I have to admit, are tiring endeavors to set-up. They require planning, money, and a certain willingness to put oneself through mental stress and torture. And we go through this 3 times a year! I'm sure many parents go through more, and I kow-tow to them. End of the day, it's all for the love of our children - trying to make their big day enjoyable, fun and memorable. Maybe that little spark of happiness, cake and chaos with friends will live in his mind for the rest of the year and prompt him to treasure his parents, and be a little more obedient. One can only wish.

Also, it was to celebrate our 8th year of parenthood. The anniversary of the day our lives turned upside down.

Asking to Test

2011-03-16T01:10:00.001+08:00

Children these days are very daring, deliberate and openly defiant in their asking.

If Mummy says No, they'll go to Daddy, who is sitting right next to Mummy! And if Daddy says No, they'll go to Gong Gong, who's sitting just across the table. Disrespectful? Yes. Resourceful and resilient? Yes.

In a way, the kids of today are learning to never take No for an answer. They are ready to push the limits, ask the right questions and test your consistency and boundaries. Irritating as it might be, there might be a lesson we can learn from them.

Shannon's down with the fever

2011-03-08T22:43:00.001+08:00

The fever struck Shannon on Sunday morning. She woke up crying and we thought it was because Nigel and Amber were picking on her (which they actually were). Even while sitting on the sofa watching cartoons, her eyes were red with tears and we wondered what the deal was.

Her forehead was hot and she was lethargic. If I remember right, her temperature was around 38.5C. She didn't have an appetite and just wanted to lie down. So she did, and Celest stayed home with her. Her stomach wasn't feeling well too, and we suspected it was a case of the stomach flu.

It's Tuesday night now, and even after visiting the doctor yesterday and taking medicine, she hasn't been able to shake the fever, although I think her tummy's feeling slightly better. She's sleeping in our room, next to my desk and I'm hoping she'll wake up at 36.9C all fine and dandy to go to school.

Our poor little princess, had to skip ballet and piano today and hasn't been to school since Friday.

The children are our future

2011-03-01T22:43:00.002+08:00

I happened to hear Whitney Houston's old song The Greatest Love of All the other day on late night radio and the lyrics just called out to me.

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside

I must have first heard the song when I was a teenager, and back then, the lyrics didn't mean anything. But all of a sudden, I now understand what the songwriter was trying to get across. After more than 20 years, it makes sense to me now.

Give them a sense of pride
To make it easier
Let the children's laughter
Reminded us of how we used to be

Our children, no matter how naughty, irritating and disobedient, are our future, our hope, our love and pride. We should never "disown" them, be ashamed of them or talk to them in a negative way. Instead, we have to instill in them a sense of belonging and trust, where they can learn from mistakes without being rejected, where they can grow in an environment of loving security.

Lastly, we were all kids once and we remember how we ourselves were playful, always pushing the limits by tormenting our parents. Let them laugh, have fun, for they - like us - will only be children once and we shouldn't take that joy away from them.

Scissors, Paper, Stone .. what?

2011-02-22T22:16:00.001+08:00

Given the seating arrangements in the car where Nigel and Shannon are never sitting in the same row - one normally sits in front next to the driver and the other sits behind - they have had to reinvent some games.

The traditional Scissors, Paper, Stone, for example, requires players to be sitting facing each other so they can see each others selected object; but this doesn't really work so well in our situation. So they came up, with some tips from us, with a modified version. It goes like this: "Scissors, Paper, Stone, I'm <OBJECT>".

Nigel: Scissors, Paper, Stone, I'm Stone.
Shannon (simultaneously): Scissors, Paper, Stone, I'm Paper.

In this case, Shannon would have won.

This way they can even play the game over the phone! But we don't encourage calling other people within the same vehicle using the phone.

Of course, hearing "Scissors, Paper, Stone, I'm Stone" over and over again can drive one nuts.

Tuesdays-Tiring

2011-02-15T22:34:00.001+08:00

Tuesdays are Truce-days. Days when I would surrender and say, "OK! I give up!".

2 ballet and 2 piano classes, and 3 flight of stairs which I occasionally think are good exercise.

The scary thing is, there will be no change to this tiring schedule in the near-term, unless we decide to tire ourselves out on another day instead. In the meantime, here's hoping to Nigel becoming a concert pianist and Shannon & Amber becoming professional ballerinas.

Now, it's off to Challenger where I think Nigel is busy playing on the iPad. And someone has to drag him away.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:32:00.001+08:00

Seems like after you get married, have children and so on, you don't really have the time (or energy, or money) to celebrate Valentine's Day. Yet for us, this is the day that we embrace the love between the couple that we once were, before the wedding, before the little pattering feet, before the whole family entourage came along for our shopping trips. There was a time when it was just the two of us.

Seems like ages ago and it even sometimes feels weird these days when we are out and about on our own. The quietness and ability to go anywhere and eat anything is almost alien and from some long-forgotten movie we watched earlier in our lives. How times have changed, and evolved us both mentally. Physically.

This morning, I wished Celest, Shannon and Amber a Happy Valentine's Day - the three young darling ladies of my life. Of course, Mummy, if you're reading this, Happy Valentine's Day to you too! I didn't get you an M&Ms t-shirt though, sorry. Do you want one?

As for Nigel, I'll give him a friendly punch and a glass of green tea tonight. :)

My Granny is a fighter

2011-02-07T01:10:00.001+08:00

As you might know, my grandma has been hospitalised for the past week. However, she did come over on the eve of the New Year and participated quite nicely in our dinner.

We saw her a few days prior to the new year and she looked to be overly medicated and tired - however, miracles happen and on the eve, my Aunt said she was looking extra lively and enthusiastic about coming over for dinner.

This was a definitely good as it gave her a chance to see her great-granchildren, which have not been to the hospital to visit. I hope she didn't find the noise too overwhelming.

She had a nice meal, got to speak to the kids and take pictures - but she left quite exhausted I guess.

We just saw her this morning and they are trying to wean her off the oxygen. However, she has some asthma and they are being careful about that. She's a fighter though. We're keeping her in our prayers.

Who stole my keys

2011-02-01T01:28:00.001+08:00

Besides doing their homework, preparing for spelling and other academic chores, Nigel and Shannon have to practice their piano (theoretically) every day. This is no simple matter - there is nagging, shouting and in Shannon's case, often crying and lots of pouting.

If you think that piano lessons are an easy thing that you can leave to the teacher, hoping to convert your child into a natural musician - I would say no. Mozart used to give lessons when he was a kid, and I think even he would have struggled with some of his students, which were probably older than he was. In addition, as a parent, you would have to sit down and watch your child practice everyday, during which you are not allowed to play with your phone.

Not everyone has the music in them, and I believe even though a portion can be taught, some would just have to work a lot harder than others. Take Nigel and Shannon for example - they each have their strengths. Nigel is technically stronger while Shannon is more graceful. Nigel, even though not a musical prodigy, can pick up a piece quickly and read the notes to correct himself. Shannon, on the other hand, becomes a bundle of nerves as she tries very hard to work the piano by hearing and playing "Simon says" on the keys. Once she memorises the piece, she can play it rather well though.

She excels at ballet though and her movements and agility are miles ahead of Nigel's rather awkward dance steps - which is why he's sticking to the keyboard.

Do kids in Japan ...

2011-01-25T01:13:00.001+08:00

Dear Nigel, Shannon and Amber in the future. I just wanted to get this out there for your reference and consideration, maybe ten years down the road.

What's with the Japanese food?

You know, during my time, I didn't eat Japanese food until I was probably sixteen. And even after, it was on very rare occasions. After that first sushi meal, the next one was probably three years later. Of course, we had to go all the way to Jurong just to eat that (nobody thought of flying to Japan instead) - the long drive and climb up the hill made it all the more special. It was also a lot better than sweating away in the Capitol hawker centre.

Bottom-line is, Japanese food is not meant to be eaten every other day. It's only for special occasions and reserved for when you pass your exams with 100 marks or get into University. Do you think kids in Japan get to eat Singaporean food everyday? No way! Their parents make them earn their char kuay teow and chicken rice, nothing in this life is free - especially good food.

You guys have it easy! Japanese food, Italian food, American food, Chinese dim sum, burgers, local dishes, chicken floss buns, the choices are endless and I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out how to pay for all this!

Can I play with your phone?

2011-01-17T13:47:00.001+08:00

Nigel and Shannon (and I'm sure Amber soon) have a common question these days whenever we go out - Can I play with your phone?

The addiction of gaming and the extremely common sight of other children poking away at their parents (or own) phones have made the colour of their little eyes green (with envy). Even when they have good company around of friends or relatives, their fingers itch with anticipation and craving, and they just need that phone. Not to call someone, but to play games. The age of constant and mobile gaming, anywhere, anytime, anyone, is definitely hereand has made us into maniacs that spend all our time looking into those tiny screens, trying to kill the ducks, birds or any other living creature.

I normally say no, and have to say it several times. Nigel doesn't seem to understand NO unless you repeat it ten times. Same for a simple request to brush his teeth.

For sure, some games are educational, build their hand-eye co-ordination - but we feel when it becomes an addiction that takes over the ability to communicate with others around them, it has the potential to be detrimental to their social skills and regular human interaction. I'm sure it's also not so good for their eyesight.

The Pat Pat story

2011-01-07T23:24:00.001+08:00

The 3 kids have been sleeping together in the same room for almost 2 months and things have been generally peaceful - although Shannon has complained that Amber sometimes wakes up in the night screaming, and she has to put her back to bed by patting and singing to her. Funny, but cute :)

But I think because of that, for the past 2 weeks, we've have to pat Amber before she goes to bed. Even if it's just for one minute (which is not long enough for her to actually fall asleep), she's needy enough to come out crying asking for me (or Celest) to just "Pat Pat Me". The two older kids on each side simply comment "pat pat everynight, what's the deal here" - of course, I made up the "what's the deal here" portion, but I think you understand their attitude. In the dark, they are probably rolling their eyeballs too.

My thought: one minute of pat pat for a night of peaceful sleep? Why not. And if she does wake up again, there's always Jie Jie.

The year is ending

2010-12-30T10:31:00.001+08:00

The days are just zooming by and 2010 is coming quickly to a close. What have you done? No matter what I try, filling the days with activities, nothing seems to be able to stop the hands of time. Minute by minute, hour, day, each quantum quickly flies by as we crash down the tunnel to 00:00:00 01/01/11.

The kids, impervious to all this simply enjoy their time, their holiday before another school term begins.

So, what have we done in 2010? Basically a lot of growing.

Nigel had a great Primary One, seemingly enjoying academic life and taking to his school books quite easily. We think he's smart. He wants to be a scientist, no more race cars and fighter jets.

Shannon is blossoming as a caring and giving person, interspersed with girly grouchiness. She likes her friends and her dancing.

Amber is beginning to talk a lot - sometimes comical, sometimes nonsense, but always lovable and unpredictable. She's beginning to understand the social structure of the universe but still puts on a big fuss and whine show when she can't get her lollipop.

To be honest, it has been a wild ride and will not get any smoother. Our home is filled with shouts, squeals, screams and singing - not always in that order, and not always in happy tones. But I believe that is the norm, and our neighbours have yet to call the cops on us. If we need witnesses or someone to bail us out for causing public disturbance, we might need to call you.

Enjoy the last bits of 2010!

What an early morning

2010-12-23T21:50:00.001+08:00

This morning, I (with Celest's help) got Nigel and Shannon out of bed at 5.30am to take them to the Bedok Jetty in order to catch the first rays of sunlight (and the first bites of mosquitoe). Unfortunately, it was so cloudy that we spent more time trying to pick out animal shapes in the sky, and the mosquitoes had a nice feast on my legs.

The funny thing about the sun is that even before it actually rose (based on Google's indication of 7.02am), the sky was kind of bright already - see the picture on the right, which is rather misleading. I think maybe NASA should do something to fix that.

Anyhow, the kids are totally zonked out now and I promise not to wake them up early again tomorrow, even though I'm quite sure it will not be cloudy.

Two days to Christmas - and our tree is already started to look like it is floating on presents. :)

Back from holiday, I need a holiady

2010-12-14T17:29:00.001+08:00

We were in Hong Kong for 9 days earlier this month and although it was super-fun for the kids at the various theme-parks, shopping malls and casinos, it was also super-tiring. Travelling with 3 small ones is not as fun as it sounds - actually it doesn't even sound that way. But good thing mum and dad came along for the fun, fresh-air (in Hong Kong?) and not to mention food.

Altogether, I think I took almost 2000 pictures. Of which about 20 are nice - but I've never claimed to be a good camera man.

Now I'm back in the office for the last stretch of the year, which can be enjoyable or not. For me, it's not - for various reasons. I'm kinda looking forward to the Christmas shutdown - but that would also mean the end of the children's school holidays. What a delimma to be in.

Time is flying

2010-11-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

Time is flying, I can't hold on
So many days, since I was born
I sleep one day, and wake another
And everything else, is just a flutter

The kids are young, but soon they'll grow
Is this a dream, how will I know?
In my mind, some memories cast
How long they'll last, I dare not ask.

Help me treasure, each passing hour
To hold and cherish, let it not sour
I know the seconds, flow on like streams
So grab those smiles, and childish screams.

My long/short week

2010-11-20T07:11:00.001+08:00

So I spent the week in Boise and Palo Alto. Actually I spent 2 days on planes and 4 days walking around (more accurately in meeting rooms, hotel rooms and restaurants).

Although it was a rush trip, I did get some stuff done. One of the main positives was my time spent with colleagues which I've never met face-to-face. Some of them I have, but many years ago. The ability to catch-up, see their faces, smiles and frowns really added that human-touch which can sometimes go missing in virtual teams.

I also got to meet my manager, whom until now has only been a voice in the phone. I'm sure she feels the same about me. I gave her a hug when I left Boise.

I'm not a big-time traveler, even for vacations. I have trouble adjusting to new timezones, sleeping in hotel rooms and even packing my own bags (Celest packed for me). So I won't say that it was fun, but I guess I try to make the best use of the situation and get the most I can out of it.

Anyway, it's time to go home now and pretty soon I'll have to deal with jet-lag all over again, but this time in hot sunny Singapore. Time to shutdown and fly away!!

Nigel received his report book

2010-11-13T01:18:00.001+08:00

Nigel received his report book today and we are proud of him. He got As for all the subjects except for Music and Art.

Already you can tell he'll be more of an academic than artistic. A bit surprising on the music bit though, as he's doing quite well in the piano lessons - maybe it's a different type of music curriculum they conduct in his school.

Nevertheless, he is also satisfied with his performance. The main thing now is encouragement, support and telling him "more of the same boy!!"

The last stretch

2010-11-08T12:44:00.001+08:00

So the exams are over, both school and music, and we are in the last stretch of the term where I think they don't really study much - not really sure what they do, prepare for Primary 2? I'm sure that's what the more advanced schools do, does Nigel's do that?

Anyway, he did quite well - although we won't officially know the official results until later this week. But in the mean time, we'll keep him going with activities, piano practices, swimming, colouring, art and soccer training. No rest for the young at heart :) Well, as long as he's enjoying it, there's no harm in keeping him going.

As for the girls, it's the same. School goes on for another 2 weeks - they have fun with their friends, do fun stuff, and have a screaming good time. Life is just one big Woo Chiang party!!

A day of examination spooks

2010-10-31T01:18:00.001+08:00

Today, Nigel officially finished the last examination he would be having this year, Music Theory Grade 1. As per his usual confident self, he is quite sure he scored full marks - but knowing his carelessness, I suspect he might have made a silly mistake or two. But that's alright, I think he tried his best. He finished in half an hour, although they actually give 90 minutes.

We got back home really late, after spending some time with spooky monsters and ghosts at the Asian Civilizations Museum where the lot of them were out and about celebrating Halloween. Amber was originally really frightened of all the dressed and made-up creepies, but eventually tried to make friendly contact by waving, hoping to get a mutual response and then trying to convince herself enough to give a high-five or handshake. By the end of the night, she was good enough to take pictures when them.

Shannon, on the other hand, was wearing my Scream mask and trying to scare people - some of which actually politely humoured her by screaming and appearing to jump out of their skins. Nigel, on the other hand, was asking Celest what his reward would be if he scored 100 marks for his examination.

Why can't they just listen?

2010-10-26T00:02:00.001+08:00

As Amber turned 3 yesterday, she's joining the rest of the gang who just won't listen.

Kids these days (I'm not sure about last time) just have a hard time following instructions. You have to tell them to do something 5 times, maybe 10, before they begin to take any action. And even then, the slightest distraction will throw them off course.

This type of behavior just drives everyone crazy. Sometimes you just have to use Mr. Cane, he seems to be able to get them to do stuff right away!!

Exam time

2010-10-19T12:25:00.001+08:00

Next week Nigel has paper 2 of his exams, and he doesn't seem to care.

The days of reckoning have dawned upon us. The days when you stress over your child's examinations as if they were your own, nay, 10x more, because you have control over your thoughts and your handwriting but not theirs. And you are not allowed to check their answers on their behalf.

To make things worse, he has his music theory exam next week too, perfect timing for a truckload of pressure, for us.

And as if we didn't have enough to worry about, we're celebrating Amber's 3rd birthday this Sunday!

The day I turned off the air-conditioner

2010-10-08T18:19:00.001+08:00

A few nights ago, the kids were causing lots of trouble at bedtime, as usual.

Celest agreed to turn on the air-conditioner for them, as it was a relatively hot night. I say relative, because we do have some cool nights too. Honestly, it doesn't depend much on the actual outside temperature but more on how their parents feel.

However, they kept wondering outside and leaving the door open - wanting this and that, a soft-toy, a pillow, a sock in the head. Finally I said, "If anyone comes out again, I'm turning the aircon off". And I left it as that.

Ten seconds later, Shannon opens up the door, walks out and says, "I want to drink water". So I say "Sure, but I'm turning off the aircon".

Nigel started screaming, sobbing and crying because he said it was "too hot", he "couldn't sleep" and it was "Shannon's fault". Shannon just said, "it's ok, I don't like the aircon anyway".

I was on a conference call, so I couldn't deal with anything. I just wanted to stick to my promise/threat and not give in. I guess it was something I had to do in order to gain some respect around the house. In the end, everyone fell asleep, the kids know I mean business, and I saved a dollar on the electricity.

Nigel's first gold medal

2010-10-02T01:41:00.001+08:00

Nigel had his school's Sports Day on Friday and he took part in hurdles relay event. The hurdles were basically empty boxes, the type that usually contain reams of A4 paper.

He and his team did a fantastic job and came in 1st!! I think they best the next best team by something like a quarter of a minute! I recorded his part of the run (all 10 seconds of it) on video but wasn't around for the prize giving. Celest took some shots though.

Apparently he and his friends were so excited about the win that they spent the rest of the day in school with their medals around their necks. Cute right? It shows how proud they are of it.

His medal now hangs on the cupboard knob near his bed so he can see it when he wakes. And he wants to show it to everyone. We were at Parkway earlier and I told him to walk around with it, but he said people would stare at him - he says this is because they would either think he is mad, or were thinking of stealing it.

Bottom-line, he is really happy and proud to have done well and receive a medal as a result. I intend to build upon it, grow his confidence, made him excel and recognise more of his achievements.

Well done boy!

Piano Exam tomorrow

2010-09-20T23:19:00.001+08:00

As they say, parents are more stressed over their child's examinations than the child himself/herself is.

So the trick is to act cool, pretend to be unconcerned, behave like it is not a big deal.

Except that it is really his piano exam tomorrow!!

And it's about time anyway. I've been listening to the same 3 songs over and over again for the past 9 months and that might help to explain why I feel slightly out of sorts when he starts practicing - or maybe it's because I typically have to ask him to practice 10 times and my lungs run out of oxygen.

Either way, I'm feeling the butterflies in my stomach for him. My target attitude - it's ok, he'll try his best and definitely pass. My actual attitude - you don't score full marks and you'll never see your Animal Kaiser cards again!! Haha! Evil right?

Actually, he'll do well. And it doesn't matter how he does, because we love him (and the 2 girls too of course). Besides, with Celest around, he'll never see his Animal Kaiser cards anyway :)

Once you've had 3, 2 is easy

2010-09-14T01:23:00.001+08:00

So Amber wasn't with us the whole of last week - her grandpa and grandma kidnapped her on their holiday to Malaysia.

That gave us time to spend with Nigel and Shannon, who are comparatively are much easier to entertain. As I always say, when you have three, two is a breeze. I admit, it was a relatively pleasant holiday week for us in planning activities, going out for food and just playing in the pool. Besides Nigel occasionally barging into our room in the middle of the night demanding to know where the toilet went to, we dozed peacefully and woke at the time of our own choosing. However, that's not to say we missed the little rascal. Even Nigel and Shannon kept wondering what she was doing and constantly asked about her - unfortunately they couldn't go because they still had some classes going on. Thank goodness for mobile phone roaming, and thank goodness it is the receiving party that pays. :)

Now we have Amber back and she's sleeping in our room again. I don't need to set the alarm clock anymore for the morning.

Nigel, wants to make us broke

2010-09-05T01:23:00.001+08:00

If ever the world plunged into recession again and consumers stopped spending their money, all the governments of the world would have to do would be to unleash an army of cloned Nigel's into the economy to pester their parents into making full use of their wallets.

Daddy, can you buy me a snack?

Mummy, can you buy me a can of Fuji Apple?

Daddy, for Christmas, I want a ____ toy?

Gong Gong, can I go and play Animal Kaiser?

It's almost as if he doesn't really bother about the outcome. He just wants to see you parting with your hard-earned cash!

Refering to myself in the third-person

2010-08-28T23:11:00.001+08:00

As a sign of respect to oneself, you wouldn't refer to yourself as "me" or "I" or "Leonard" (if your name is Leonard, like me) in front of your children. Instead it would be "Daddy" (capital D), "Mummy" (capital M), "Your Boss" (capital Y and B) or even "Your Worst Nightmare" (capital Y, W and N).

I'm not sure how this came about, but it's different in Western societies where kids call their parents "Jack" or "Mary" or Dude or Hey Old Man.

In our home, Nigel refers himself to Amber as "Ge-Ge" (older brother) as he was mature enough to bestow the title upon himself when she was born. Shannon also constantly calls him "Ge-Ge" too.

Shannon has trouble with Amber. Try as she might, Amber just refuses to call her (or maybe she just forgets) Jie-Jie but keeps referring to her as Shannon - my gosh! What does it take to get some respect around here! Trouble is Nigel calls her "Shannon" and not "Mei-Mei" (younger sister), which is just as well, as we don't want Amber calling Shannon "Mei-Mei".

Amber is just confused. We have people (like Nigel and Gabriel) telling her "Shannon did this and that" and then others correcting her saying "Jie-Jie, not Shannon". In addition, nobody calls her Mei-Mei at all, absolutely no-one. Bottom-line, besides Nigel and the older folks, everyone else is on a first-name basis.

Propagation of Preferences

2010-08-16T19:40:00.001+08:00

Ask Amber what she wants to watch on TV she'll tell you Tom & Jerry.

Yes, it's the nonsensical, timeless chronicles of a love-hate relationship between a cat and a mouse as they try to beat each other at their game. Mindless violence, cruel torture and seemingly fatal accidents that keep the rat-race going, day after day, week after week, one child at a time.

Amber completely skipped the Barney experience. High-5, nah. Dora and Diego, who are they?

It's because of the Theory of Childhood Propagation of Preference. This Theory states that children would inevitably, subliminally (and some say magically) pass on their tastes, likes and dislikes to other children around them, within a certain radius obviously. Also, the older the child the stronger his transmission power which means younger kids are more susceptible to succumbing to the appetites of their elder compatriots.

And so it goes. Nigel took to the habit of watching the naughty pair of animals smacking each other silly, which of course meant that Shannon, and eventually Amber starting doing likewise. The Theory of Childhood Propagation of Preference, proven.

To me, it seems like only yesterday that Tom & Jerry was a pub/disco favorite, playing on screens across the island as people sipped on their vodkas and gargled their beers.

45 and lighting up the sky

2010-08-12T01:22:00.001+08:00

We brought the kids to "watch" the parade twice. Once during the preview and again on the real day.

We saw the planes roar through the skies and between the buildings, the soldiers march to the beat of the brass bands, the tanks rumble down the street and of course, to top things off, the fireworks.

It's was all really just to impress onto Nigel and Shannon the pride that we should have in our nation. That we are firm and committed in our ability to protect our shores and are not shy to light up the sky in celebration of our independence day. Amber on the other hand, was terrified of the loud jets and was initially afraid of the fireworks. She got used to it the second time round pretty quickly though.

This year, with the Marina Bay fully opened up, the audience had an all-round viewing experience where you can literally see the fireworks from anywhere around the water's edge. I'll take the kids there for a nice walk around the bay - need to get those lazy bums moving, but we might need a brass band of our own.

Electronic Childhood

2010-08-03T15:44:00.001+08:00

Kids these days are all about computer games. Wii, PSP, iPhone. Nigel keeps asking "Mummy/Daddy, can I play with your phone" whenever he has nothing to do. It's becoming a bad habit, and we try to stop it - he fights back with crying and stomping, but we don't give in.

I remember it wasn't too long ago when I was the one who voluntarily let him have my phone to play with, thinking it was part entertainment, part educational, part brain/reaction skills-building. And a part of me still believes there must be something to learn, some benefits in playing these games.

But when it becomes an addiction and takes priority over finishing up schoolwork or other important things, then that's where we have to step in. If it replaces good social behavior like having a conversation, engaging with others or just sitting still and reading, then it probably needs to be looked at. Bad eyesight aside, these games have the potential to take over a child's life and his perception of reality. Celest says it almost like a drug. When you take the game away from him (let's say Animal Kaiser), he starts to react like an addict who has been denied his dope.

I'm trying to turn it around to use it as an incentive. To use the games as a carrot while I have the opportunity. In the future it might have to be cash, clothes, furniture, vehicles - but right now, 30 mins on the Wii is just the cost of electricity.

Looking ahead

2010-07-26T01:02:00.001+08:00

The future is bright they say. But don't look too far ahead, it might scare you, alarm you, stress you.

Worse of all, while you worry about the future, you will miss the joy in the here and now. The fear of what lies ahead will cloud your ability to embrace the present.

Live in the now. The future will take care of itself somehow (Howard Jones?).

Kids and their smarts

2010-07-13T17:05:00.001+08:00

Celest was really "hammering" Shannon this morning because she had trouble with her ABCs and some simple concepts. Seems like Shannon isn't really very academically inclined (at this point). But then again, she's only five and isn't really the logical thinker that Nigel is.

Shannon also doesn't really respond well under pressure. It seems the more you bark at her, the slower and more timid she becomes and basically her whole mind becomes a mess where even the simplest thing turns into a huge challenge.

I told Celest to take it easy on her, but I guess she was at a point of frustration where it was difficult to step back and take a deep breadth.

Shannon's more of a social, touchy-feely type of person who can converse, share and probably draw people out - just as long as it doesn't involve numbers and musical notes.

Striving for excellence

2010-07-12T09:54:00.001+08:00

This world is all about striving for the best, going all out to prove
yourself, being all that you can be.

What about being average?
Gunning for that middle spot? Just passing? What's wrong with that?

It's always aim high because if you aim low you will end up at
the bottom of the pack - and that is something you probably don't want.

But
striving for excellence is tiring, draining, and is something you can
only do for a fixed period of time before your mind, body, sanity gives
way and you come crumbling down from all that internal pressure of
having to perform, be at your finest and so on. It is really exhausting
and potentially disappointing when you have to constantly tell yourself
you have to do better.

So I say, aim to be average, but not
below. Be happy with what you are and give it your best shot if you can.
But don't kill yourself over it.

But don't tell the kids that I
said that.

Shannon the politically correct

2010-07-02T12:42:00.001+08:00

Last week I had to tie Shannon's hair up for her ballet class as Celest forgot to do that. So I took her rubber-bands and did what I could - which I felt was ok.

Later that night, when we got home, she cam up to be and said "Daddy, I really like the way you tie my hair, it is so nice".

3 second delay.

She continued, "But maybe next time, you can tie it like this (straight tony tail instead of a loop back) like how mummy does it".

I had to agree and found that her level of empathy for my hurt feelings was genuine, and it had nothing to do with her wanting sweets from me.

Finally Nigel's tooth came out

2010-06-24T10:16:00.001+08:00

After a long time trying last night to wiggle his bottom tooth out, Celest finally managed to get it out this morning.

Now there is a gap with a small adult tooth somewhat behind - I hope it moves forward. I remember Fred had a similar issue when he was small too.

So his first tooth has dropped, now what next? Is this a step in the adulthood direction? Apparently so.

Conversation with Shannon this morning

2010-06-19T02:32:00.001+08:00

Shannon found my thumbdrive near the TV - we were watching a Divx movie (2012) the night before from it.

Shannon: Daddy, I found something, I think it's yours.
Me: Thanks Shannon, that's my thumbdrive. Please put in on the desk.
Shannon, running happily into the bedroom: OK!
Shannon, comes back still holding the thumbdrive: Daddy, what's the desk?
Me: It's the table next to the bed.
Shannon, running back into the room and coming out empty handed: Daddy, I couldn't find the desk. So I left it on the table next to your computer.

That competitive feeling

2010-06-11T00:16:00.001+08:00

Yes, we are in Bali this week at our Aunt's beautiful farm/house. It's a nice place to unwind, although it's hard to do so with 3 noisy kids around.

Earlier this evening, just before bed, I had a silly competition between Nigel and Shannon to see who could endure tickles on their feet without laughing. After about 10 seconds (not bad!), Shannon started getting the giggles and I declared Nigel the winner. Immediately, Shannon started getting angry and crying because she said she didn't want to lose. So I had to redo the competition again and rig it so that she won.

Do you call that sibling rivalry? A highly competitive nature? Or just cranky children before bedtime? It just tickles me.

Celest's grandma passed away

2010-05-29T01:33:00.001+08:00

Celest's grandma just passed away earlier today. She was over 90 years old and had no illness, just left silently in her sleep, peacefully.

May God bless her soul.

Nigel and Shannon have never been to a funeral wake before this and they were actually quite relaxed about seeing their great-grandmother's body in the coffin. Questions about heaven, hell, the soul, spirits were tossed in our direction non-stop and I, for one, had to focus to ensure the answers I provided made sense, were consistent and tie-in with what we hear in church.

Shannon kept going to the coffin to peer in and as she did so, hung on the the handle, which caused it to rock slightly (to my terror). I told her not to do that as it might knock the entire coffin to the ground and she said, "Will Lao Ma wake up then?". Also, she kept telling her cousins that Lao Ma's legs were further inside the coffin, and then came up to me to confirm.

Kids are amusing, innocent and so fragile all at once - they take everything in stride, perhaps not understanding the permanence of death. But she burst out in tears just before she slept, I'm not sure why (Shannon has a habit of doing this, she's very emotional). Perhaps it just struck her, or perhaps Celest struck her (Celest has a habit of doing this too).

Then she stopped, and ran to our room to fetch her tiger.

My wedding crasher

2010-05-17T17:18:00.001+08:00

I attended a friend's wedding on Saturday and although there was a lot of conversations going on, mine was mostly on the phone.

Shannon kept calling me.

She has my number memorized and the phone at Mama's house is so accessible that she just continuously picked it up and kept calling me every 5 mins - it was cute for a start, but to be honest, became slightly irritating after a while. But anyway, she is my daughter and she wanted to speak to me. In the future it is going to be some boy and I would be vying for her attention - so I have to remember to treasure and cherish these moments.

She asked me where I was, who I was sitting with, what their names were and so on. Then she made me tell my friend sitting next to me the names for my children, "Daddy, tell your friend 'my children's names are Nigel, Shannon and Amber' and she made me do it now so she could hear it". She wanted to know what I was eating, who was speaking on the microphone and what the bride was wearing - she's one curious little girl. She also gave me a running commentry of what was going on in Mama's place. And she refused to let me hang on.

I did find a way to put the phone down though, even if it was just for 5 minutes till she called me back again. I would just say that I wanted to speak to Nigel and she would gladly put him to the phone. I'd ask him a few questions and then say that I would call back later, which he had no objections with, and then he would proceed to hang up the phone.

Already you can tell who the more talkative person is going to be. Well, girls will be girls, and I'm hoping for more disruptive phone calls from my little girl(s) in the future - just not while I'm in a meeting, that's all I ask :)

Thanks Shannon for making my night extra exciting and for reminding me that I had my little daughter thinking about me. :)

Living on our own again

2010-05-12T22:52:00.001+08:00

After 4 years of living at Mum and Dad's, we've ventured out on our own again, in order to have a bit more space, solve the parking woes at home and allow the kids to sleep in a room with a window :) Also, it doesn't hurt to have a swimming pool just downstairs and a playground just around the corner.

But as you can imagine, living on your own is not all it is made out to be.

All of a sudden, the kids are going crazy and their grandparents are not just upstairs to call for help. No more late night walks outside while we pass the baby monitor on to someone else. I have to multitask my conference calls and keep Amber quiet while Celest sends Nigel to school.

Perils of perils.

But we've made it almost 2 weeks and our sanity is slowly returning as we've gotten into a groove of sorts.

And it's always refreshing to take a noon-time plunge into the pool to wash away the blazing heat of the day.

If you have kids, you really shouldn't work ...

2010-04-29T23:42:00.001+08:00

I'm really tired, get me a Red Bull.

Parents with kids really should not be working - I mean, how on earth can one juggle both a job and children? It is virtually impossible. Think about a juggler who's trying to have a cup of coffee while keeping the flaming knives twirling in the air - somebody's gonna get hurt, or he'll end up one very successful but thirsty man.

In this generation of children that demand more of your time, energy, attention and affection, having a day job is simply not an option. You can have a night job though, when they are sleeping - perhaps a lounge singer, blackjack dealer or pimp, but somebody still needs to take Nigel to the toilet at 3am.

We've become nags

2010-04-20T22:21:00.001+08:00

When you were young, the main complaint about your parents were that they were naggy, sounded like a broken record and just kept going on and on.

Now, we are the naggy parents.

"Eat faster", "do your homework", "brush your teeth".

But what can we do? Honestly, I don't think there is anything that can stop us. I try, but how do I get Shannon to stop staring into space instead of chewing? How can I get Nigel to stop watching TV and do his work? And how about getting Amber to climb down from the two meter high fence?

There is virtually no solution - so the nagging must go on.

Children making use of children

2010-04-12T14:55:00.001+08:00

If you plan on having multiple kids, either have twins (or triplets if you insist) or have them 10 years apart.

The trend among our children now is for them to send the youngest (currently Amber) out on a suicide missions to tickle their parents, poke strangers or harass one another. They still occasionally do the dirty work themselves, but the call of "Amber, tickle Ge Ge" and "Amber take Jie Jie's book" ring out louder and more frequently these days. Outsourcing at work.

It all makes for interesting observation on how children interact. In this large scale experiment, we've watched harmless little babies grow into unsteady toddlers and now into cunning schemers capable of turning unsuspecting others into deadly weapons of mass destruction.

Amber, in turn, we suspect is to innocent victim. She is pretending to be ignorant of the instructions, but silently enjoying the fruits of her destructive behavior, without having to assume the full responsibilities.

Parental Advice: Kiddy Incentives

2010-03-31T22:31:00.000+08:00

Wii.

Nintendo built a machine that has become a thorn in the side for us, the dream of a little boy and a possibility for improving school-work, piano practices and food devouring speeds.

It's true, children (maybe just boys) these days are living in an RPG world. From the day they were born, their tiny hands were grasped around imaginary game controllers, fingers tapping, thumbs pressing the shoot button, eyes darting back and forth scanning for enemies, bowling pins and other racers on the track.

However, if done correctly, carefully thought-out, and implemented with just the right touches, this digital nightmare can turn into a strong motivational force, a power to move. The keyword here: Incentives.

This holds true for any other goodie that your child might be into - cars, TV, parachuting. Find that knob and turn it off. Then, promise to gradually turn it back on again under certain circumstances, like finishing homework, doing house chores, bringing home a million dollars of earnings, simple stuff like that.

I won't say it's chicken feet to implement - but it isn't very difficult either. In the corporate world, it's not very difficult from setting goals, targets, all wih the promise of a promotion and a larger pay packet - something I haven't seen in almost 3 years. *sob sob*

Shannon's piano

2010-03-28T01:18:00.000+08:00

Shannon has been playing piano for about 6 months now I think - time flies so fast that I cannot seem to keep track.

Anyhow, she's has the fever - a good one - and she's really into daily practice, playing till she gets it right and just improving herself. She's gone through half of the Suzuki Vol 1 piano book and I think she will finish it by the middle of this year.

Nigel used to be just as enthusiastic when he started and almost as quick, but he's slowed down recently and it has become rather frustrating getting him to practice. I'm not sure if it's a boy thing or just him being tired of the routine. His exam is coming up in July, and that means more of me kicking his butt to get him to play.

But Shannon keeps powering on - I'll upload a video of her playing soon. I have a feeling one day in the not too distant future, she will overtake Nigel. Not sure if that's good or bad though.

Nigel is Seven

2010-03-20T10:35:00.001+08:00

Our little boy is no longer a baby or toddler. He's not yet a teenager though, and I'm not really looking forward to that either.

The significant thing about his birthday is that it also marks the anniversary of our entry into parenthood; that fateful day when Celest went into (induced) labor and our entire world turned upside-down and we could no longer go partying on Saturday nights. Instead, we were up at 3am changing diapers and feeding milk. After that, Nigel, Shannon and Amber were our party-mates, the posse we bring around as we terrorize shops, food-courts and innocent people.

Happy Birthday Nigel!!

Amber the impersonator

2010-03-15T00:39:00.000+08:00

I think Amber is gearing up for a career in comedy and impersonation.

She can already call me "Uncle Leonard" the way that Gabriel does it. And this morning, she was trying to refer to her brother by saying "Orhh Orhh" exactly the way Nigel does it.

Is this a sign of intelligence or cheekiness?

Working to live

2010-03-07T23:09:00.001+08:00

Most of us work for others, to earn our daily bread, money for the family.

It's not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also to our families, little ones at home and all others that rely on us to maintain their living standards. Is this a privilege or burden? A joyful truth of society or an extra load of pressure that has been placed on our shoulders that force us to go on slogging even if our bodies and minds can no longer cope?

Celest doesn't work - she's chosen to stay home, be with the kids, educate them and shout at them when they get naughty. I mean, if they needed to be shouted at, better that you do it yourself right? So, the task to bring the cash home falls onto my lap. On most days, the MCP inside me feels happy at doing the traditional role of the male breadwinner. However, on other days, it almost seems like I'm carry my entire family on my back as I unicycle across a tightrope. If I fail, I take everyone down with me.

I have no choice now. Life has lead us this far and it is our job to get it moving forward in the right direction. Distatster and depression are always just one step behind and just the act of looking back could mean the end.

As they say, when God gives you a load to carry, He would also give you the strength to do it. Now I just need to find it.

Tips for soon to be parents: Get a big bed

2010-02-24T16:59:00.001+08:00

If you're a parent of a toddler, it's always nice to have a bed that's bigger than what the both of you really need.

When you bought your bed, you measured each of your waist sizes, the width of the bolsters and maybe added some buffer for unexpected movement and that was it. That is where the mistake was made, and it's always a hassle to go get a new mattress and frame - I often wonder how it fit through the door the first time, or up the steps or into the lift. I could have sworn we bought one of the types that you chuck into a cup of water for it to expand. Maybe chuck isn't the right word here though.

The real challenge is when your young child learns to climb - of which Amber is the champion, even when compared to Nigel and Shannon.

All of a sudden you have this extra pillow that magically appears on your bed in the middle of the night. It kicks, flops its arms and legs around, and then asks for water. And it refuses to go back down to its own bed. This has now become a nightly routine; trying to sleep without getting punched in the eye.

I'm actually not sure if a king-sized bed would make a difference. She'd still find a way to keep both of us literally sleeping on the edge.

Long day at the zoo

2010-02-17T09:19:00.001+08:00

We were at the zoo yesterday. We brought the kids there to visit the animals on the third day of the Chinese New Year. Didn't get many ang pows from them though, maybe most of them aren't married. :)

Ahh, the zoo. I remember the days when it was really about looking at animals and learning about their habitats, diets and characteristics. Maybe watching a couple of animals shows too - which we did yesterday, thankfully.

However, these days, the zoo is really a water theme park and playground. Looking at the time spent at each activity, it's almost 70% of the time splashing, sliding and climbing. Which is why on our long walk back to the entrance, I do not normally rush them (unless huge storm clouds threaten) when they want to spend some time grazing and gazing at the lions, giraffes, zebras and so on. After all, that is what the zoo is really about.

We don't get these type of animals at home.

Taking care of people

2010-02-09T23:35:00.001+08:00

If you ask me if I'm capable of taking care of people, I'd say barely. The only humans I've really had experience handling are my children and even that, not very well. Celest says I give them too many sweets and I admit, it's an easy reward system which both sides have a tendency to abuse.

When it comes to real work, I'm even worse at it. The guys won't work for candy and butt smacking is frowned upon in the workplace. In addition, I have no say over pay increments and the only reward I can give is more work.

Humans, unfortunately, can't be programmed. I don't have a Java or PHP manual handy, but I'm sure PHP doesn't stand for Programmable Human Procedures. So it's down to relationship building (which you don't have to do with your own kids, the relationship comes pre-determined and they don't have a say), trust (your kids have to trust you, no choice, you buy their food and they have to assume you didn't put any poison in it) and mutual respect (here is where the Mr. Cane comes in for the little monsters, and I respect them too if they use the magic words and stop punching each other). As I mentioned, the using of canes is not allowed in the office, although whips are allowed on special occasions, but that's not to be discussed openly.

Many people strongly recommend starting a family businesses because you legally get to smack people whom you manage. But I don't work in one. Guess I'll just have to buy my team a round of beer instead :)

Killed by homework

2010-02-01T15:43:00.001+08:00

The motto for today (and yesterday, and the day before, and probably tomorrow as well) is Do Your Homework.

I thought my days of homework (not including what we now call Working from Home, hmmm ... now that I think about it ...) were over. Now it's worse, it's chasing others to do their stuff, which is more tiring, painful and energy-sapping.

Although Nigel's work that he brings home is rather simple and can be done within 15 mins (unless the TV is on), it is the remembering on his behalf, chasing, pencil sharpening and so on that takes another 15 mins.

Shannon still doesn't really have homework and Amber, she makes everyone at home work (which is different, but worse).

Can you imagine in 4 years time when we have to chase three of them to finish their stuff? We need to come up with a reward and punishment system really soon.

Sleep - what is it for

2010-01-22T23:19:00.001+08:00

Sleeping, from a practical point of view, is a waste of time.

I mean seriously - you're lying still in the dark for, what, seven hours doing absolutely nothing? Not moving, not exercising, not even watching a movie. Sounds very similar to someone slacking off in the canteen during work hours, at least he's getting his daily dose of caffeine.

I guess sleep is natures way of giving you an excuse to not work. "Boss, sorry, I can't work on those 297 reports you sent me because I'm tired and need to sleep". Lame excuse right? Anytime you have too much to do, you invoke sleep - and some people even have the cheek to actually doze off. Talk about lack of pride.

Ok. So humans need energy - and we get it from food, water and sleep. Why can't we substitute less sleep with more food, or water, or chocolate? After years and years of evolution, are you saying our systems are not flexible or advanced enough? I've never seen a cheetah having dark rings around its eyes after a long night of hunting. But then again, cheetahs rarely hang out in the canteen drinking coffee.

It's a real pity. Just when the kids fall asleep and you have some time to yourself, the tiredness bug hits you and then you yourself need to shut those eyes too. Honestly, it doesn't make sense having everyone sleep at the same time - someone should be out there watching a movie or working on those damn reports.

Need to stop, I'm starting to yawn now.

The kids have a temporary nanny

2010-01-18T13:58:00.001+08:00

My cousin, Vanya, is staying with us for a few days and the kids just cannot get enough of her. It's Aunty Vanya this, Aunty Vanya that. For example, "Aunty Vanya can I sit next to you for dinner" and "Aunty Vanya can you read us bedtime stories". This morning, Shannon asked "Aunty Vanya, can you help me brush teeth".

There's nothing like having a new person in the house to irritate and bug to death :)

The kids love her because in her they see a big sister (especially for Shannon) who is not quite an adult yet old enough to dispense advise on earrings, princesses and almost any other phenomena. She's like a grown-up kid that can help them unlock the secrets of life that their parents do not want to reveal. Celest and I are fine to let her take them off our hands for these few days to give us some peace - Amber is not quite so involved at this point although she occasionally throws in her signature "How bout me! How bout me!" line to ensure we know she's around.

As for Vanya, I think this is good training for a future when she will have her own little ones to manage.

Aunty Vanya, come back any time and read more stories too!