Amber: The toilet training experience

Just when we thought we had fully toilet trained Amber for the night, she goes and wets the beds (yes, not just hers but also Nigel and Shannon's) two nights ago. However, I think that was a one off as it was a late sleeping night and she had lots of green tea.

But how did we get here? Wasn't she the one whom we could almost guarantee would soak her mattress each night no matter what we did? Yes she was. For some reason, at some point, I had this impression that she would never be trained. But she eventually did learn how to control yourself, and this is how we did it.

Firstly, we had to make sure she peed just before going to bed. And this would mean forcing her to go even if she insisted that her bladder was dry. "No Amber, go and pee". "Ohhh-kay, but I told you I don't have any pee". And she sit there, and we'd hear a lot of gushing sound. I wonder where that came from.

Then we would bring her to pee again before we went to bed. This might be around 1am. I'd wake her up, and make her walk zombie style to the toilet - Celest would carry her, but she wet me once as I was carrying her and it's been zombie style ever since.

Finally we would have to specifically set alarm clocks to wake us at around 4am so we could bring the little zombie to the toilet. Each time we do that, I'm reminded of a friend who joked once about making prank calls in the dead of the night to people and asking them to go and pee when they pick up - maybe his parents trained him this way and subliminally that thought strayed into his prank call messages.

In the morning, if she did wet her bed, she would come into our room and declare the unfortunate incident. Sometimes her elder siblings would do that too, especially if their mattresses (they all sleep side by side) or bolsters or soft toys were unintentionally soaked. Once, a care-bear became the pee-bear had to be left swimming in the sink.

We've not gotten a morning declaration in a while now, and we have also done away with the 4am alarms. So things are generally going the right way - just have to keep her away from the green-tea bottles.

Amber's Anxiety

I might have written this similar post exactly a year ago.

Amber is now in Kindergarten 1, which you might refer to as Senior Nursery. But she's still a baby in many ways and for most of this week, she was very apprehensive about going into school - she started crying, whining, sobbing, clinging when she arrived at school (or Chinese class), exactly like last year, and the year before. Anxiety attacks. Fear of seperation.

Perhaps being born at the end of the year has an effect on her. When Shannon was roughly her age (around 48 months), she was just going to Nursery 2, because Shannon was born in January. However, Amber, being born in October, ends up experiencing everything much earlier in life - which is good in a way, but also makes her rather immature at the time.

But as history has proven, this coming week will be much better - until the long Chinese New Year weekend throws a spanner in the schedule and will set us back by several days. Oh well, growing up is hard to do.

Happy 7th Shanny

Shannon turned 7 on this day. No longer the little bawling girl I remember, crawling around and bumping her head on the table legs. She's ready for school, ready to make new friends and all set to take on the world.

Happy 7th Birthday Princess Shanny!

Where did the holidays go?

One moment we were busy packing for our trip to Phuket and Phi Phi Island - I recall being stranded at a deserted bus-stop in Phuket Town wondering if there was a bus we were supposed to be waiting for and longing for a SBS IRIS-type system. Next we were back in Singapore sending the kids to some extra classes. There was a bit of cycling at ECP and catching a movie or two.

Then we were zipping up the Malaysian highway to conquer the foggy and wet hill of Genting.

But now the kids are in school and I'm sitting in the office?

What happened?

Lose control and Gain your sanity

From my experience, when you are taking three (or more) children out, excessive control is not necessarily a good thing (for your own health). Tight control typically means more shouting, more stress and lots of anxiety.

So my suggestion is less control. Safety and kidnapping aside, kids just generally want to have fun and get dirty. And if you're alright with some noise, chocolate stains and grubby faces, then go with it and let them go wild. Sit back, watch the action and let the other adults tear their hair follicles out.

That magic time of day: Phi Phi Island

Our hotel at Phi Phi Island was on the east side of the island, on the beach, facing the rising sun. And the sun there rises every morning (woah!) at around 6.15am. So, instead of having to drag 3 lazy bums down to ECP, out of the car in the pitched black morning in Singapore, it was just open-the-door, take 10 steps to the sandy shore for 6 days in a row. It was cloudy on one of those days, but perfect for the other 5.

And what a pleasure it was to see the sun pop out slowly out of the horizon (actually there was a little piece of island protruding about a quarter inch), almost like an eclipse of sorts. The kids who woke up with us on several occasions payed a little bit of attention and then started chasing crabs or poking sticks into the sand.

I miss those early sunrises already. They take your cares, worries, and breath away.

The Xbox Deal

So are we being tough on Nigel?

We gave him a difficult target of having to get a distinction for his piano exam and also first place in class. Only then could he be entitled to an Xbox Kinect. He managed to get fulfill the first target but not the second, getting 3rd place in class, which is actually quite good. But should we give-in and get him the Xbox anyway?

I'm not sure how hard he actually worked, but I would say he did put in quite a bit of effort. Although looking at his preparation, I believe he had time to do more. We also didn't want to tire him out and add crazy stress on his eight year old brain - can you imagine what would happen when the PSLE comes along?

Surprisingly (or maybe not), he's actually very proud of his achievements. The boy would was first was the same one last year, but he managed to beat his friend Arthur, which I think was his personal goal. So in his own eyes, he did it. We set his goal for the top, which gave him some buffer to fall. If we set it as 3rd, he would have probably come in as 5th. Then again, I'm not sure if such psychology applies to him.

Anyway, we are giving him a chance to prove himself during these few holiday weeks. There are more opportunities for him to get those extra Xbox points, but honestly, I'm not sure if he really wants it - he doesn't seem so hot on it. Maybe a simple hovercraft would do?

Bottom-line - for any human, child or adult: Aim high. Even if you don't make it, you would still outdo yourself.

Spending time with my boy

Over the weekend, I had a chance to attend a Father/Son bonding camp with Nigel at his school.

We played games with the other 17 Father/Son pairs, had insightful moments and a little individual 1-on-1 BBQ where you get to cook with your son and burn his satay. See picture. (It's been 2 days, no diarrhea, meaning everything went alright).

It really gave me a chance to get to know him a little more, find out what he is capable of and learn from some of the experts on how you can give yourself and you children the confidence that is needed to grow as a family - with the right amount of tolerance, discipline, and of course, lots of love.

I love you Nigel, Shannon and Amber. I hope you will give me a chance to grow as a dad and lead you on your individual life journeys!

Time of their lives

You know the song from Green Day? It would have been so appropriate if they played that at the end of the kindergarten graduation concert, and that would surely bring tears to every parent's eyes, including mine.

Our little kids are growing up right in front of us, on that stage, as they dance, and sing, and perform. Months of practise and training, culminating in 2 hours of Broadway + High School Musical. Pure magic. Not flawless, but every imperfection perfect in its own right, highlighting each child’s uniqueness, confidence and willingness to be out there in the spotlight for the world to see, and unafraid to fail.

I wonder if all the effort was for the audience, or really for themselves. The teachers, of course, have the parents in mind as they choreograph each move, time each beat to ensure every little foot and hand rocks to the same rhythm. The kids, on the other hand, are just having a blast - not thinking about tomorrow, or the past. In their eternal youth, their energy belongs in the here and now, and so it rightly should. On that stage (and even in their numerous rehearsals), their radiance, their brilliant smiles, their cheekiness shines through. I felt a huge amount of ability, focus and maturity growing within their little hearts and minds. These really can’t be kindergarten kids, could they?

But it is also Farewell. To the life she has known almost half her life, in a small protected school, her friends (some of them whom might come along with her), teachers of the last three years, the friendly playground, the fun classrooms. It will take her a few years, maybe decades, but she will long for the days. She will think back, reminisce and wonder, in her distant memory, where those years went. A blurry hue will form around faint images of a life one lived, childish conversations on the steps while waiting for class to begin or her mummy to come get her. Everything will be in sepia, and the sound of children’s laughter and chattering will form the soundtrack.

I’m already missing those days on her behalf and I remember that little girl that was scared of school and would begin crying even before we said goodbye, but would somehow transform into a cheerful bright-eyed princess who didn’t want to leave at the end.

I will continue to cherish the thought that just like her brother and sister, they will continue to brighten our days, no matter how old, stubborn, naughty they get and that deep in their beings I can sometimes still see hints of the little babies that they once were, and I hope that  never goes away.

Bedtime Thank Yous

Celest started making the children say a Thank You each during their bedtime prayers. Just a simple line to thank God for something they feel is important.

Nigel: Thank you for dying on the cross for us.

Shannon: Thank you for this wonderful day.

Amber: Thank you for dying on the cross for us, and for this wonderful day, and for making the flowers grow and grow and grow and grow so big big big big and for not wasting the money on clothes ...

Nigel and Amber: (chuckling)

Fun Saturday

We spent the whole day at Wild Wild Wet today, riding the slides, floating in the water, burning our skins. Miraculously, it didn't rain where we were. Instead, the sun scorched us red. The kids had the most fun in a long time and are now dozing off into dreams of Ooh-lar-lahs and Tsunami Pools.