Taking care of people

If you ask me if I'm capable of taking care of people, I'd say barely. The only humans I've really had experience handling are my children and even that, not very well. Celest says I give them too many sweets and I admit, it's an easy reward system which both sides have a tendency to abuse.

When it comes to real work, I'm even worse at it. The guys won't work for candy and butt smacking is frowned upon in the workplace. In addition, I have no say over pay increments and the only reward I can give is more work.

Humans, unfortunately, can't be programmed. I don't have a Java or PHP manual handy, but I'm sure PHP doesn't stand for Programmable Human Procedures. So it's down to relationship building (which you don't have to do with your own kids, the relationship comes pre-determined and they don't have a say), trust (your kids have to trust you, no choice, you buy their food and they have to assume you didn't put any poison in it) and mutual respect (here is where the Mr. Cane comes in for the little monsters, and I respect them too if they use the magic words and stop punching each other). As I mentioned, the using of canes is not allowed in the office, although whips are allowed on special occasions, but that's not to be discussed openly.

Many people strongly recommend starting a family businesses because you legally get to smack people whom you manage. But I don't work in one. Guess I'll just have to buy my team a round of beer instead :)

Killed by homework

The motto for today (and yesterday, and the day before, and probably tomorrow as well) is Do Your Homework.

I thought my days of homework (not including what we now call Working from Home, hmmm ... now that I think about it ...) were over. Now it's worse, it's chasing others to do their stuff, which is more tiring, painful and energy-sapping.

Although Nigel's work that he brings home is rather simple and can be done within 15 mins (unless the TV is on), it is the remembering on his behalf, chasing, pencil sharpening and so on that takes another 15 mins.

Shannon still doesn't really have homework and Amber, she makes everyone at home work (which is different, but worse).

Can you imagine in 4 years time when we have to chase three of them to finish their stuff? We need to come up with a reward and punishment system really soon.

Sleep - what is it for

Sleeping, from a practical point of view, is a waste of time.

I mean seriously - you're lying still in the dark for, what, seven hours doing absolutely nothing? Not moving, not exercising, not even watching a movie. Sounds very similar to someone slacking off in the canteen during work hours, at least he's getting his daily dose of caffeine.

I guess sleep is natures way of giving you an excuse to not work. "Boss, sorry, I can't work on those 297 reports you sent me because I'm tired and need to sleep". Lame excuse right? Anytime you have too much to do, you invoke sleep - and some people even have the cheek to actually doze off. Talk about lack of pride.

Ok. So humans need energy - and we get it from food, water and sleep. Why can't we substitute less sleep with more food, or water, or chocolate? After years and years of evolution, are you saying our systems are not flexible or advanced enough? I've never seen a cheetah having dark rings around its eyes after a long night of hunting. But then again, cheetahs rarely hang out in the canteen drinking coffee.

It's a real pity. Just when the kids fall asleep and you have some time to yourself, the tiredness bug hits you and then you yourself need to shut those eyes too. Honestly, it doesn't make sense having everyone sleep at the same time - someone should be out there watching a movie or working on those damn reports.

Need to stop, I'm starting to yawn now.

The kids have a temporary nanny

My cousin, Vanya, is staying with us for a few days and the kids just cannot get enough of her. It's Aunty Vanya this, Aunty Vanya that. For example, "Aunty Vanya can I sit next to you for dinner" and "Aunty Vanya can you read us bedtime stories". This morning, Shannon asked "Aunty Vanya, can you help me brush teeth".

There's nothing like having a new person in the house to irritate and bug to death :)

The kids love her because in her they see a big sister (especially for Shannon) who is not quite an adult yet old enough to dispense advise on earrings, princesses and almost any other phenomena. She's like a grown-up kid that can help them unlock the secrets of life that their parents do not want to reveal. Celest and I are fine to let her take them off our hands for these few days to give us some peace - Amber is not quite so involved at this point although she occasionally throws in her signature "How bout me! How bout me!" line to ensure we know she's around.

As for Vanya, I think this is good training for a future when she will have her own little ones to manage.

Aunty Vanya, come back any time and read more stories too!

Life without help

It's about 4 weeks since our help, Isti, left and we're still alive, barely.

We've gotten so used to having the extra pair of hands to help with the cleaning, washing, feeding, patting to bed that in all honesty, we've (to a certian extent) forgotten how to be parents. Back in the old days when there were families with half a dozen kids, mum and dad would still manage to find the time to handle the bunch, calm the crying and still have fun without going crazy.

Could it be that we've just got a lower tolerance for children these days? Are our nurturing skills going away like our caveman hunting abilities? Maybe it's the other way around - that we've started expecting too much from them, wanting them to be perfect when in essence they are just children and need to be able to express themselves in ways that may seem destructive, naughty and disobedient. The higher expectations you place on your child, the more stress you put on them and yourself and life can lose its fun.

We're learning to cope without Isti. And out of necessity, the older kids tend to be left to do their thing a bit more often than before, and that might be a good thing as they learn to be independent. Amber, on the other hand, cannot be left on her own too long - just the other day, Celest found her cleaning the walls of the bathroom with the toilet brush.

Amber's experiences in school

Amber started attending pre-nursery this week and so far, it's been as expected, a bit of crying, overwhelming emotions and the need for mummy to be there.

On the first day, we left her there in the midst of her tears expecting the teachers to be able to coax her into playing with the toys and books. However, midway through our lunch at a nearby coffeeshop, our friends Joe and Dawn messaged to say she was crying her head off. When we got back, she was fast asleep in Dawn's arms - silly us, we timed the school smack on her nap time.

Today, the second day, Celest spent the whole time there with her and she was fine. Some of the other children weren't so lucky to have their mummies there and apparently spent the entire 2 hour session crying away, very heart-wrenching.

Tomorrow will be the last day that Celest can spend time there. But no worries, after that it will be big sister Shannon to the rescue as the older children will start their classes on Thursday. Hopefully by then Amber would have grown up.

We think she still has no idea what she is being put through, the poor girl. She constantly tries to yank her name tag off her dress - her sister's old uniform. The picture shows the name tag in its twisted form.

We roughed it out

Another one to check off the list as done items for the holiday - sleeping in a tent by the beach.

To be honest, the 2 kids slept like logs while their father tossed, turned and eyed every moving shadow and distant twig snap. It wasn't dark at all, the lights from the east coast jogging track stay on all night and cast nasty looking shadows onto the walls of our tent - which I chose not to point out to the kids.

I tried to make it comfortable enough by opening a sleeping bag on the ground and the kids seem to appreciate it. I was also rather stuffy, which they somehow overlooked while sleeping in their long sleeved pajamas. But it did get slightly cooler at around 6am in the morning, around the same time I started hearing more running footsteps coming from the jogging path, which I at first attributed to thievery.

Overall, besides the fact that I only probably slept around 2 hours and had to endure a constant barrage of punches and kicks from both left and right, I would say it was fun and enjoyable. Tips for our next outing: a tent with more ventilation, hopefully waterproof, a thicker and softer sleeping bag, and a shield (and maybe helmet) for the father in the middle.

Now I remember the downside to Christmas

The downside to Christmas is that it means that school is starting in about a week.

This is bad news not only for children, but also for the parents of school-going kids. Nigel begins Primary 1 next year, and although it sound fun and exciting, I really wish he was still in kindergarten where the garden is full of flowers, the playground beckons and homework is something that you just try your best to finish.

Oh well, no use grumbling about things. Here we go trying to enjoy our last week of freedom and make the best of the fun times!

And there were tears ...

As expected, it was an emotional send off at the airport yesterday as Isti said her final farewell to us with the possibility of never seeing us again, or at least in a long long time.

The reality of it, as you would expect, didn't sink in with Nigel, Shannon and Amber (Shannon is crying in the picture because she got scolded for eating her lunch too slowly) but I feel sad for the kids. Amber for one will probably not even remember her as she grows older and the two elder ones will just allow memories of her to fade into the distant horizon like fuzzy clouds which disappear over time leaving you to wonder if they ever really happened.

Celest and I completely appreciate all the effort she put in, the time she spent with the kids and how she took care of them almost like her own. Well, when you get a good helper, it's hard to let go.

Earlier tonight just before the kids slept, they were talking about her and I think they are just beginning to miss her. Nigel called out to her when we returned, and I think he just wanted to say her name to see what happens. He later said he felt like crying. Shannon too keeps asking to speak with her on the phone. (I called "Isti" last night as I walked by her empty room too, I'm not sure why. Nothing. Just eerie silence.)

I just found out that Shannon gave Isti one of her Barbie dolls for her to take home and sleep with - but our little girl was mature enough to say that "Aunty Isti can keep the doll to sleep with. But if she comes back, she has to return it to her". I'm proud of Shannon, and Nigel and how they've handled things so far.

Another milestone: Isti is leaving

Tears will be shed at the airport tomorrow as we send Isti back to her hometown in Indonesia. She basically doesn't want to be a domestic helper anymore but needs to try her hand at something else, something Celest and I understand and fully support.

Yet, it is as if a member of our family is leaving us. She has been with us for a lifetime (well .. based on Shannon and Amber's perspective at least) and has been at the center of our household for the past 4 years. She greets us every morning, takes care of the kids, cooks most of our meals and keeps everything neat and tidy. The children know that she's always there when they call and that if mum and dad are angry, they can run to her - although that's wrong. :)

It's going to be an empty feeling, and house, without her around and all of us will miss her dearly. But as with all things, the inevitable ending must come.

I doubt she's going to read this but Isti, thank you so much for all your help, friendship and fun you've given our family over the past 4 years. You've grown with us, been with us through ups and downs and literally watched the children grow from tiny little infants to the monsters they are now. You took ownership of them and they came to know, rely and trust you like a real aunt.

Life moves on and you need to move on too. Your next adventure awaits you and opportunities exist everywhere. But we do hope to receive a call from you one day soon saying you want to return and work with us again! Till then, farewell and may the memories you have with our family remain with you always - like you will always remain in ours.

Take care Isti.