Amber the impersonator

I think Amber is gearing up for a career in comedy and impersonation.

She can already call me "Uncle Leonard" the way that Gabriel does it. And this morning, she was trying to refer to her brother by saying "Orhh Orhh" exactly the way Nigel does it.

Is this a sign of intelligence or cheekiness?

Working to live

Most of us work for others, to earn our daily bread, money for the family.

It's not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also to our families, little ones at home and all others that rely on us to maintain their living standards. Is this a privilege or burden? A joyful truth of society or an extra load of pressure that has been placed on our shoulders that force us to go on slogging even if our bodies and minds can no longer cope?

Celest doesn't work - she's chosen to stay home, be with the kids, educate them and shout at them when they get naughty. I mean, if they needed to be shouted at, better that you do it yourself right? So, the task to bring the cash home falls onto my lap. On most days, the MCP inside me feels happy at doing the traditional role of the male breadwinner. However, on other days, it almost seems like I'm carry my entire family on my back as I unicycle across a tightrope. If I fail, I take everyone down with me.

I have no choice now. Life has lead us this far and it is our job to get it moving forward in the right direction. Distatster and depression are always just one step behind and just the act of looking back could mean the end.

As they say, when God gives you a load to carry, He would also give you the strength to do it. Now I just need to find it.

Tips for soon to be parents: Get a big bed

If you're a parent of a toddler, it's always nice to have a bed that's bigger than what the both of you really need.

When you bought your bed, you measured each of your waist sizes, the width of the bolsters and maybe added some buffer for unexpected movement and that was it. That is where the mistake was made, and it's always a hassle to go get a new mattress and frame - I often wonder how it fit through the door the first time, or up the steps or into the lift. I could have sworn we bought one of the types that you chuck into a cup of water for it to expand. Maybe chuck isn't the right word here though.

The real challenge is when your young child learns to climb - of which Amber is the champion, even when compared to Nigel and Shannon.

All of a sudden you have this extra pillow that magically appears on your bed in the middle of the night. It kicks, flops its arms and legs around, and then asks for water. And it refuses to go back down to its own bed. This has now become a nightly routine; trying to sleep without getting punched in the eye.

I'm actually not sure if a king-sized bed would make a difference. She'd still find a way to keep both of us literally sleeping on the edge.

Long day at the zoo

We were at the zoo yesterday. We brought the kids there to visit the animals on the third day of the Chinese New Year. Didn't get many ang pows from them though, maybe most of them aren't married. :)

Ahh, the zoo. I remember the days when it was really about looking at animals and learning about their habitats, diets and characteristics. Maybe watching a couple of animals shows too - which we did yesterday, thankfully.

However, these days, the zoo is really a water theme park and playground. Looking at the time spent at each activity, it's almost 70% of the time splashing, sliding and climbing. Which is why on our long walk back to the entrance, I do not normally rush them (unless huge storm clouds threaten) when they want to spend some time grazing and gazing at the lions, giraffes, zebras and so on. After all, that is what the zoo is really about.

We don't get these type of animals at home.

Taking care of people

If you ask me if I'm capable of taking care of people, I'd say barely. The only humans I've really had experience handling are my children and even that, not very well. Celest says I give them too many sweets and I admit, it's an easy reward system which both sides have a tendency to abuse.

When it comes to real work, I'm even worse at it. The guys won't work for candy and butt smacking is frowned upon in the workplace. In addition, I have no say over pay increments and the only reward I can give is more work.

Humans, unfortunately, can't be programmed. I don't have a Java or PHP manual handy, but I'm sure PHP doesn't stand for Programmable Human Procedures. So it's down to relationship building (which you don't have to do with your own kids, the relationship comes pre-determined and they don't have a say), trust (your kids have to trust you, no choice, you buy their food and they have to assume you didn't put any poison in it) and mutual respect (here is where the Mr. Cane comes in for the little monsters, and I respect them too if they use the magic words and stop punching each other). As I mentioned, the using of canes is not allowed in the office, although whips are allowed on special occasions, but that's not to be discussed openly.

Many people strongly recommend starting a family businesses because you legally get to smack people whom you manage. But I don't work in one. Guess I'll just have to buy my team a round of beer instead :)

Killed by homework

The motto for today (and yesterday, and the day before, and probably tomorrow as well) is Do Your Homework.

I thought my days of homework (not including what we now call Working from Home, hmmm ... now that I think about it ...) were over. Now it's worse, it's chasing others to do their stuff, which is more tiring, painful and energy-sapping.

Although Nigel's work that he brings home is rather simple and can be done within 15 mins (unless the TV is on), it is the remembering on his behalf, chasing, pencil sharpening and so on that takes another 15 mins.

Shannon still doesn't really have homework and Amber, she makes everyone at home work (which is different, but worse).

Can you imagine in 4 years time when we have to chase three of them to finish their stuff? We need to come up with a reward and punishment system really soon.

Sleep - what is it for

Sleeping, from a practical point of view, is a waste of time.

I mean seriously - you're lying still in the dark for, what, seven hours doing absolutely nothing? Not moving, not exercising, not even watching a movie. Sounds very similar to someone slacking off in the canteen during work hours, at least he's getting his daily dose of caffeine.

I guess sleep is natures way of giving you an excuse to not work. "Boss, sorry, I can't work on those 297 reports you sent me because I'm tired and need to sleep". Lame excuse right? Anytime you have too much to do, you invoke sleep - and some people even have the cheek to actually doze off. Talk about lack of pride.

Ok. So humans need energy - and we get it from food, water and sleep. Why can't we substitute less sleep with more food, or water, or chocolate? After years and years of evolution, are you saying our systems are not flexible or advanced enough? I've never seen a cheetah having dark rings around its eyes after a long night of hunting. But then again, cheetahs rarely hang out in the canteen drinking coffee.

It's a real pity. Just when the kids fall asleep and you have some time to yourself, the tiredness bug hits you and then you yourself need to shut those eyes too. Honestly, it doesn't make sense having everyone sleep at the same time - someone should be out there watching a movie or working on those damn reports.

Need to stop, I'm starting to yawn now.

The kids have a temporary nanny

My cousin, Vanya, is staying with us for a few days and the kids just cannot get enough of her. It's Aunty Vanya this, Aunty Vanya that. For example, "Aunty Vanya can I sit next to you for dinner" and "Aunty Vanya can you read us bedtime stories". This morning, Shannon asked "Aunty Vanya, can you help me brush teeth".

There's nothing like having a new person in the house to irritate and bug to death :)

The kids love her because in her they see a big sister (especially for Shannon) who is not quite an adult yet old enough to dispense advise on earrings, princesses and almost any other phenomena. She's like a grown-up kid that can help them unlock the secrets of life that their parents do not want to reveal. Celest and I are fine to let her take them off our hands for these few days to give us some peace - Amber is not quite so involved at this point although she occasionally throws in her signature "How bout me! How bout me!" line to ensure we know she's around.

As for Vanya, I think this is good training for a future when she will have her own little ones to manage.

Aunty Vanya, come back any time and read more stories too!

Life without help

It's about 4 weeks since our help, Isti, left and we're still alive, barely.

We've gotten so used to having the extra pair of hands to help with the cleaning, washing, feeding, patting to bed that in all honesty, we've (to a certian extent) forgotten how to be parents. Back in the old days when there were families with half a dozen kids, mum and dad would still manage to find the time to handle the bunch, calm the crying and still have fun without going crazy.

Could it be that we've just got a lower tolerance for children these days? Are our nurturing skills going away like our caveman hunting abilities? Maybe it's the other way around - that we've started expecting too much from them, wanting them to be perfect when in essence they are just children and need to be able to express themselves in ways that may seem destructive, naughty and disobedient. The higher expectations you place on your child, the more stress you put on them and yourself and life can lose its fun.

We're learning to cope without Isti. And out of necessity, the older kids tend to be left to do their thing a bit more often than before, and that might be a good thing as they learn to be independent. Amber, on the other hand, cannot be left on her own too long - just the other day, Celest found her cleaning the walls of the bathroom with the toilet brush.

Amber's experiences in school

Amber started attending pre-nursery this week and so far, it's been as expected, a bit of crying, overwhelming emotions and the need for mummy to be there.

On the first day, we left her there in the midst of her tears expecting the teachers to be able to coax her into playing with the toys and books. However, midway through our lunch at a nearby coffeeshop, our friends Joe and Dawn messaged to say she was crying her head off. When we got back, she was fast asleep in Dawn's arms - silly us, we timed the school smack on her nap time.

Today, the second day, Celest spent the whole time there with her and she was fine. Some of the other children weren't so lucky to have their mummies there and apparently spent the entire 2 hour session crying away, very heart-wrenching.

Tomorrow will be the last day that Celest can spend time there. But no worries, after that it will be big sister Shannon to the rescue as the older children will start their classes on Thursday. Hopefully by then Amber would have grown up.

We think she still has no idea what she is being put through, the poor girl. She constantly tries to yank her name tag off her dress - her sister's old uniform. The picture shows the name tag in its twisted form.